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I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.
Random Fucks About Yoo...
- Thread starter Breakfall
- Start date
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Beer, cheeseburgers and naked woman are my only reasons to live
OP
OP
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OP
OP
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I once released a blackhead off my back of my scotum that was half the size of a pea! It must’ve gone unnoticed for two decades at least. The release was awesome and blood-free, and there was a massive crater left by the black-eyed pea. Freaky...
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How do you miss a black head that big for two decades???:eek:
OP
OP
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I thought the lump was just part of the anatomy you know. When one feels one’s nutz, it’s like squishing a hackysack!
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Wish I never clicked on this thread, not even 8am yet and bombarded with bollock pus...
OP
OP
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Sebum not pus...
And 20year sebum at that. It was basically fossilised!
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Sebum......YOU LIE....
OP
OP
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Ahahahahahahahaha
I got tripped while running super fast when I was 11, got bitumen pebbles in my arms that I didn't tell any adult about, they eventually started migrating between the skin and muscles, so I picked them slowly out with sewing needles over many weeks.
When the pain got too great, I'd stop, put compression bandages on the areas, then try again later.
I've never told my family this yet...
When the pain got too great, I'd stop, put compression bandages on the areas, then try again later.
I've never told my family this yet...
OP
OP
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I hate day-shitting. Midday to be precise. Particularly if I have to use a public toilet. Public toilets have shit particles everywhere. The seat, the handle, the toilet paper housing, the air I need to breathe, the basin and tap, the dryer button, the door handle. I come out feeling absolutely shat on every time...
I worked a job site with a buddy and he had to shit so bad like so so bad he went to the outhouse thingy pulled his pants down and exploded all over the blue plastic module hahahahahahaha no sitting :LOL2: just WHAM !
OP
OP
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You freaks made me think about one time on the job(House Painting)had to take a shit and no bath room close by so I shit in a empty paint can and put the lid on and put it at the curb and wasn't long before this chinaman came by and took the can and would had give $20 to see his face when he opened that can and move the rag " Surprise " - - - - - -
OP
OP
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Hahahahaha... served him right for always undercutting everyone else in the trade. But he more than likely would’ve just added thinning agent and made federation brown! The Chinese are thrifty like that.
:LOL1:
I was walking along a beach with a date when I got extreme explosive shit and gut aches, so I ran into the dunes, dug a hole in the sand, and proceeded to shart a foul acidic green goo.
It was everywhere and I had to use my socks to tidy up, when a dog started barking and trying to drag the owner right towards me.
Filled in the hole, snuck around, and me and my date quietly watched as the dog dug it up, the owner picked up a green sock, and sniffed it and recoiled and fell down...
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OP
OP
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Tight...
So I was a student studying in the city, and it was my first steady girlfriend in the big smoke. And we were fucking hard doing it doggystyle:
She had a beautifully round and tight arse, and I was desperately looking away thinking of fish & chips and anything else other than that beautiful arse so I wouldn’t cum too soon.
I pulled out quickly when I felt I was peaking and went down for another growl, licking and lapping, playing tongue-tag between her glistening vulva and puckering anus. Fuck I was hard as fuck...like a diamond-cutter in fact. I felt that I could split rocks with my dick...
She arched her arse higher into the air moaning and groaning, I kept on growling her out working up a lather. I was in pure ecstasy. I starting rubbing my whole face in between her dripping & wet holies. My heart was racing! My God...I was having a religious experience with a Goddess.
She then lent her head back and moaned for me to put my dick back into her... she didn’t have to ask twice.
I plunged back into her and started pumping her hard like a stallion. Her moaning started to crescendo and I felt that I was about to explode into her at any second...
She leaned her head back again and whispered, “ Baby...put it into my arse!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I said, “...wwwwhaaat?!”
“Put your dick into my arse”, she repeated lustfully.
Well she didn’t have to ask me thrice.
I hadn’t had anal at this stage in my young life...and this was going to put a notch in my cap!
I quickly pulled out of her hot box and plunged straight into her willing arse in one lightening-fast fluid motion.
She screamed and yanked her arse right off my dick even faster. Then she started sobbing. I was shocked and said, “What’s wrong?!!! What’s wrong?!!!”
She punched me in the chest telling me that I should’ve put it in gently.
” You should’ve put it in gently!”, she sobbed.
I told her that I was sorry as I’ve never had anal before and begged for her to give me another chance. Very slowly this time.
“No...my koekie is sore now!”, she said pouting indignantly.
And that was that! Although we dated for another 3 years, I never had anal sex with her ever again. Ever. Never...
I lay quietly next to her with my blue balls and gently stroked her arm, as my diamond-cutter became obsolete.
The Send.
:barefoot::confused:
So I was a student studying in the city, and it was my first steady girlfriend in the big smoke. And we were fucking hard doing it doggystyle:
She had a beautifully round and tight arse, and I was desperately looking away thinking of fish & chips and anything else other than that beautiful arse so I wouldn’t cum too soon.
I pulled out quickly when I felt I was peaking and went down for another growl, licking and lapping, playing tongue-tag between her glistening vulva and puckering anus. Fuck I was hard as fuck...like a diamond-cutter in fact. I felt that I could split rocks with my dick...
She arched her arse higher into the air moaning and groaning, I kept on growling her out working up a lather. I was in pure ecstasy. I starting rubbing my whole face in between her dripping & wet holies. My heart was racing! My God...I was having a religious experience with a Goddess.
She then lent her head back and moaned for me to put my dick back into her... she didn’t have to ask twice.
I plunged back into her and started pumping her hard like a stallion. Her moaning started to crescendo and I felt that I was about to explode into her at any second...
She leaned her head back again and whispered, “ Baby...put it into my arse!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I said, “...wwwwhaaat?!”
“Put your dick into my arse”, she repeated lustfully.
Well she didn’t have to ask me thrice.
I hadn’t had anal at this stage in my young life...and this was going to put a notch in my cap!
I quickly pulled out of her hot box and plunged straight into her willing arse in one lightening-fast fluid motion.
She screamed and yanked her arse right off my dick even faster. Then she started sobbing. I was shocked and said, “What’s wrong?!!! What’s wrong?!!!”
She punched me in the chest telling me that I should’ve put it in gently.
” You should’ve put it in gently!”, she sobbed.
I told her that I was sorry as I’ve never had anal before and begged for her to give me another chance. Very slowly this time.
“No...my koekie is sore now!”, she said pouting indignantly.
And that was that! Although we dated for another 3 years, I never had anal sex with her ever again. Ever. Never...
I lay quietly next to her with my blue balls and gently stroked her arm, as my diamond-cutter became obsolete.
The Send.
:barefoot::confused:
BEnzover must have had a flashback from his Howard Johnson's rendezvous (either self admitted time) with his fellow "Cawk Wrangler"... Johnny Storm....lulz
I did that with a lay once except she didn't ask for it. We were spastic drunks going for it in the wee hours of the morning and all lubed up, then we became unconnected briefly.... so I plunged in!
She froze...then went catatonic... then whispered, "wrong hole"...
I apologised, excused myself, and ran towards the shower with her shit stuck to my dick in order to wash it off..
...that killed the mood.
OP
OP
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I had a similar experience, but without the poo-poo. I think she had prepared herself.
I’m a 100% doggystyle man.
I took this chick home, we both knew each other, we were both drunk. So just went for it hammer and tongs right away.
It was dark and I was pumping away happily, when I thought to myself...how pleasant...I might just stick my thumb up her bum to get her bucking more.
I reached down to insert my thumb into her anus, and try as I may, couldn’t find it. It took a vague moment to realise that I was fucking her up the arse...so I came quick!
She must’ve liked it up the jack, because it was clean, prepped and loose.
Chicks can be so kinky!
:Cheers:
Are U mad?
Says the guy who paints his nails, wears a dress, and smokes slim cigs.
BEnzover must have had a flashback from his Howard Johnson's rendezvous (either self admitted time) with his fellow "Cawk Wrangler"... Johnny Storm....lulz
No man! She is in love with you!Are U mad?
You mean: a REAL MAN? :LOL4:Says the guy who paints his nails, wears a dress, and smokes slim cigs.
BEnzover must have had a flashback from his Howard Johnson's rendezvous (either self admitted time) with his fellow "Cawk Wrangler"... Johnny Storm....lulz
She's just bored, Max.No man! She is in love with you!Are U mad?
Her and Froods' other forums are dead.
Surprisingly, the thread their friend Vitriol made about disposable masks wasn't interesting enuff.
*Shrugs*
Frood?You mean: a REAL MAN? :LOL4:Says the guy who paints his nails, wears a dress, and smokes slim cigs.
BEnzover must have had a flashback from his Howard Johnson's rendezvous (either self admitted time) with his fellow "Cawk Wrangler"... Johnny Storm....lulz
