Random Fucks About Yoo...

[Master Pu]

This is all very confusing...I’m just gonna fuck off...and make a cup of coffee.
:Dazed:

You're gonna make the wife or gilfriend some coffee too?

My wife doesn’t drink tea or coffee. Just me in the mornings!
I’ve just come back from Bunnings, the hardware warehouse, fucking had to remove myself after 2 hours. Bought a bit...

It took two hours to buy a bit?

Not a drill bit...odds and ends! Lol

You get a left handed hammer?

 

[Breakfall]

This is all very confusing...I’m just gonna fuck off...and make a cup of coffee.
:Dazed:

You're gonna make the wife or gilfriend some coffee too?

My wife doesn’t drink tea or coffee. Just me in the mornings!
I’ve just come back from Bunnings, the hardware warehouse, fucking had to remove myself after 2 hours. Bought a bit...

It took two hours to buy a bit?

Not a drill bit...odds and ends! Lol

You get a left handed hammer?

No, I already have a few of those. Herbs for the garden, charcoal, new lawn mower, chook manure, heavy-duty hinges and iron rings for my balls! Odds and ends...
:Grin3:

 

[Frood]

This is all very confusing...I’m just gonna fuck off...and make a cup of coffee.
:Dazed:

You're gonna make the wife or gilfriend some coffee too?

My wife doesn’t drink tea or coffee. Just me in the mornings!
I’ve just come back from Bunnings, the hardware warehouse, fucking had to remove myself after 2 hours. Bought a bit...

It took two hours to buy a bit?

Not a drill bit...odds and ends! Lol

I get sucked into buying extra stuff at Bunnings too...

Especially things like cheap LED headlamps, or gaffers tape, another tarp, or barbecuing accessories...

 

[Breakfall]

This is all very confusing...I’m just gonna fuck off...and make a cup of coffee.
:Dazed:

You're gonna make the wife or gilfriend some coffee too?

My wife doesn’t drink tea or coffee. Just me in the mornings!
I’ve just come back from Bunnings, the hardware warehouse, fucking had to remove myself after 2 hours. Bought a bit...

It took two hours to buy a bit?

Not a drill bit...odds and ends! Lol

I get sucked into buying extra stuff at Bunnings too...

Especially things like cheap LED headlamps, or gaffers tape, another tarp, or barbecuing accessories...

Hahaha...for sure. I forgot to mention that I also bought a new coach lamp for the front entrance so the pizza delivery people stop tripping up the steps!

 

[Q]

This is all very confusing...I’m just gonna fuck off...and make a cup of coffee.
:Dazed:

You're gonna make the wife or gilfriend some coffee too?

My wife doesn’t drink tea or coffee. Just me in the mornings!
I’ve just come back from Bunnings, the hardware warehouse, fucking had to remove myself after 2 hours. Bought a bit...

It took two hours to buy a bit?

Not a drill bit...odds and ends! Lol

I get sucked into buying extra stuff at Bunnings too...

Especially things like cheap LED headlamps, or gaffers tape, another tarp, or barbecuing accessories...

Hahaha...for sure. I forgot to mention that I also bought a new coach lamp for the front entrance so the pizza delivery people stop tripping up the steps!

do they use the "trick" that there is just one path through the store, that leads you along every single thing they sell?

 

[X]

This is all very confusing...I’m just gonna fuck off...and make a cup of coffee.
:Dazed:

You're gonna make the wife or gilfriend some coffee too?

My wife doesn’t drink tea or coffee. Just me in the mornings!
I’ve just come back from Bunnings, the hardware warehouse, fucking had to remove myself after 2 hours. Bought a bit...

It took two hours to buy a bit?

Not a drill bit...odds and ends! Lol

I get sucked into buying extra stuff at Bunnings too...

Especially things like cheap LED headlamps, or gaffers tape, another tarp, or barbecuing accessories...

Hahaha...for sure. I forgot to mention that I also bought a new coach lamp for the front entrance so the pizza delivery people stop tripping up the steps!

do they use the "trick" that there is just one path through the store, that leads you along every single thing they sell?

You mean like an isle ?? like at a STORE that SELLS stuff ??

Shall I release the alert or will you dam well smarten up ??

 

[Breakfall]

This is all very confusing...I’m just gonna fuck off...and make a cup of coffee.
:Dazed:

You're gonna make the wife or gilfriend some coffee too?

My wife doesn’t drink tea or coffee. Just me in the mornings!
I’ve just come back from Bunnings, the hardware warehouse, fucking had to remove myself after 2 hours. Bought a bit...

It took two hours to buy a bit?

Not a drill bit...odds and ends! Lol

I get sucked into buying extra stuff at Bunnings too...

Especially things like cheap LED headlamps, or gaffers tape, another tarp, or barbecuing accessories...

Hahaha...for sure. I forgot to mention that I also bought a new coach lamp for the front entrance so the pizza delivery people stop tripping up the steps!

do they use the "trick" that there is just one path through the store, that leads you along every single thing they sell?

Not Bunnings. The tool shop is more or less in the middle, as is the paint shop. Trade and timber generally to one side and the nursery to the other. The rest are numbered aisles organised in rows with a walkway laterally through the middle and an additional row of numbered aisles again.

 

[Q]

do they use the "trick" that there is just one path through the store, that leads you along every single thing they sell?

Not Bunnings. The tool shop is more or less in the middle, as is the paint shop. Trade and timber generally to one side and the nursery to the other. The rest are numbered aisles organised in rows with a walkway laterally through the middle and an additional row of numbered aisles again.

Then how come you bought more than you came in for?

 

[Breakfall]

do they use the "trick" that there is just one path through the store, that leads you along every single thing they sell?

Not Bunnings. The tool shop is more or less in the middle, as is the paint shop. Trade and timber generally to one side and the nursery to the other. The rest are numbered aisles organised in rows with a walkway laterally through the middle and an additional row of numbered aisles again.

Then how come you bought more than you came in for?

It’s really just a great bloke’s store. Remind me to take a picture of my tool shed when I tidy the place up!

 

[Q]

do they use the "trick" that there is just one path through the store, that leads you along every single thing they sell?

Not Bunnings. The tool shop is more or less in the middle, as is the paint shop. Trade and timber generally to one side and the nursery to the other. The rest are numbered aisles organised in rows with a walkway laterally through the middle and an additional row of numbered aisles again.

Then how come you bought more than you came in for?

It’s really just a great bloke’s store. Remind me to take a picture of my tool shed when I tidy the place up!

Yeah please do!

 

[Breakfall]

I found some short surfing footage of me surfing in Sumatra, Indonesia on a small day. It’s actually 9 yrs ago the original footage was taken, after a serious drinking session with some Saffas and a few Yanks. I can’t believe I could still stand up...

 

[Breakfall]

I bought this penis vacuum pump for kinks when I saw them for the first time. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t buy it because my penis is small, I bought it because one can really fuck up one’s penis if one is horny enough.

So there I was with this new novelty penis pump, and it comes with small penis pre-sleeves which I threw out of course! The instructions said not to use it longer than 10 minutes or so, so I used it for an hour and ten minutes because I’m way kinky. I was amazed at how big my Roger was getting and it’s starting to turn me on a lot. I thought let’s see how big I can get inside this pump tube, and decided to watch TV.

Anyway, the pressure is getting so heavy that my Roger touched the sides of the tube and I got burst blood vessels on my helmet. I thought, ohhhhh I better stop now. I let off the vacuum, but my Roger was firmly suck inside the tube. I eased it off from left to right and broke the seal, releasing my rampant Roger. Next minute the skin swelled all around the head looking translucent and angry, and my dick was very obesely fat and numb. I asked my gf if she wanted some sex with my monstrosity, and she told me to basically fuck off!

It took me a good 48 hours before my Roger was back to normal and I could have sex!
Later down the track I also used it on my gf’s naughty bits
and that was even funnier than fuck.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh...the things you do when people make these funny toys aye? Lol

:LOL1:

 

[Master Pu]

I bought this penis vacuum pump for kinks when I saw them for the first time. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t buy it because my penis is small, I bought it because one can really fuck up one’s penis if one is horny enough.

So there I was with this new novelty penis pump, and it comes with small penis pre-sleeves which I threw out of course! The instructions said not to use it longer than 10 minutes or so, so I used it for an hour and ten minutes because I’m way kinky. I was amazed at how big my Roger was getting and it’s starting to turn me on a lot. I thought let’s see how big I can get inside this pump tube, and decided to watch TV.

Anyway, the pressure is getting so heavy that my Roger touched the sides of the tube and I got burst blood vessels on my helmet. I thought, ohhhhh I better stop now. I let off the vacuum, but my Roger was firmly suck inside the tube. I eased it off from left to right and broke the seal, releasing my rampant Roger. Next minute the skin swelled all around the head looking translucent and angry, and my dick was very obesely fat and numb. I asked my gf if she wanted some sex with my monstrosity, and she told me to basically fuck off!

It took me a good 48 hours before my Roger was back to normal and I could have sex!
Later down the track I also used it on my gf’s naughty bits
and that was even funnier than fuck.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh...the things you do when people make these funny toys aye? Lol

:LOL1:

You used the blue adapter, huh?

 

[Blazor]

Hahahahahaa thats hilarious Break!

 

[realgrimm]

I bought this penis vacuum pump for kinks when I saw them for the first time. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t buy it because my penis is small, I bought it because one can really fuck up one’s penis if one is horny enough.

So there I was with this new novelty penis pump, and it comes with small penis pre-sleeves which I threw out of course! The instructions said not to use it longer than 10 minutes or so, so I used it for an hour and ten minutes because I’m way kinky. I was amazed at how big my Roger was getting and it’s starting to turn me on a lot. I thought let’s see how big I can get inside this pump tube, and decided to watch TV.

Anyway, the pressure is getting so heavy that my Roger touched the sides of the tube and I got burst blood vessels on my helmet. I thought, ohhhhh I better stop now. I let off the vacuum, but my Roger was firmly suck inside the tube. I eased it off from left to right and broke the seal, releasing my rampant Roger. Next minute the skin swelled all around the head looking translucent and angry, and my dick was very obesely fat and numb. I asked my gf if she wanted some sex with my monstrosity, and she told me to basically fuck off!

It took me a good 48 hours before my Roger was back to normal and I could have sex!
Later down the track I also used it on my gf’s naughty bits
and that was even funnier than fuck.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh...the things you do when people make these funny toys aye? Lol

:LOL1:

Pics of blooded burst cock or it didnt happen

 

[Jake]

Not Bunnings. The tool shop is more or less in the middle, as is the paint shop. Trade and timber generally to one side and the nursery to the other. The rest are numbered aisles organised in rows with a walkway laterally through the middle and an additional row of numbered aisles again.

Sounds like pretty much the same layout as a Lowe's or Home Depot store here in the US.

 

[Breakfall]

I bought this penis vacuum pump for kinks when I saw them for the first time. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t buy it because my penis is small, I bought it because one can really fuck up one’s penis if one is horny enough.

So there I was with this new novelty penis pump, and it comes with small penis pre-sleeves which I threw out of course! The instructions said not to use it longer than 10 minutes or so, so I used it for an hour and ten minutes because I’m way kinky. I was amazed at how big my Roger was getting and it’s starting to turn me on a lot. I thought let’s see how big I can get inside this pump tube, and decided to watch TV.

Anyway, the pressure is getting so heavy that my Roger touched the sides of the tube and I got burst blood vessels on my helmet. I thought, ohhhhh I better stop now. I let off the vacuum, but my Roger was firmly suck inside the tube. I eased it off from left to right and broke the seal, releasing my rampant Roger. Next minute the skin swelled all around the head looking translucent and angry, and my dick was very obesely fat and numb. I asked my gf if she wanted some sex with my monstrosity, and she told me to basically fuck off!

It took me a good 48 hours before my Roger was back to normal and I could have sex!
Later down the track I also used it on my gf’s naughty bits
and that was even funnier than fuck.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh...the things you do when people make these funny toys aye? Lol

:LOL1:

Pics of blooded burst cock or it didnt happen

It happened a long time ago...that’s why I can talk about it now! :Grin3:

 

[Breakfall]

I have an over-abundance of sperm in my balls. Where an average ejaculate is said to be around 5ml daily, I’m around 15-20ml.

After 4days with no cumshots, I start to precum involuntary, particularly if I’m thinking about sex.

After 7days with no cumshots, I will cum involuntary a bit when I’m pushing for a shit on the toilet, I shit you not!

Anything over and above a week with no cumshots and I go a bit crazy and it isn’t good for my heart, as it will beat too quickly and give me heart murmurs.

My missus normally sorts me out before I go crazy, but when I’m away on surf trips, I need to find a rock pool somewhere and knock the top off it so that I can have a pleasant next week without a hitch or any infidelity. And infidelity ain’t right...

 

[Dove]

Beer, cheeseburgers and naked woman are my only reasons to live

Where has this guy been?

I love how he is using Hoggle as his avi ♡

 

[Flynn]

I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.

Can I use this as P.I.?

The "Jew" part I mean.

 

[Breakfall]

I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.

Can I use this as P.I.?

The "Jew" part I mean.

Apparently you’re a PI fiend. No Jew. My foreskin was cut off when I was four years old for medical reasons. My penis was too big to get past the foreskin and it caused a smegma infection. I would have liked a partial foreskin at least. I’ve been stretching it for two years randomly to try gain it back, but it’s hard yards. Oh well...

 

[Flynn]

I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.

Can I use this as P.I.?

The "Jew" part I mean.

Apparently you’re a PI fiend. No Jew. My foreskin was cut off when I was four years old for medical reasons. My penis was too big to get past the foreskin and it caused a smegma infection. I would have liked a partial foreskin at least. I’ve been stretching it for two years randomly to try gain it back, but it’s hard yards. Oh well...

Hey. Idiot. I didn't ask "fore" a case study on why you have so many gay STDs.

 

[Breakfall]

I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.

Can I use this as P.I.?

The "Jew" part I mean.

Apparently you’re a PI fiend. No Jew. My foreskin was cut off when I was four years old for medical reasons. My penis was too big to get past the foreskin and it caused a smegma infection. I would have liked a partial foreskin at least. I’ve been stretching it for two years randomly to try gain it back, but it’s hard yards. Oh well...

Hey. Idiot. I didn't ask "fore" a case study on why you have so many gay STDs.

My God you’re a child!

 

[Flynn]

I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.

Can I use this as P.I.?

The "Jew" part I mean.

Apparently you’re a PI fiend. No Jew. My foreskin was cut off when I was four years old for medical reasons. My penis was too big to get past the foreskin and it caused a smegma infection. I would have liked a partial foreskin at least. I’ve been stretching it for two years randomly to try gain it back, but it’s hard yards. Oh well...

Hey. Idiot. I didn't ask "fore" a case study on why you have so many gay STDs.

My God you’re a child!

Riiiiggghhhttt...Because I'm the one running around with my dick and balls dragging on the pavement demanding the sexual predators all get banned or you are leaving.

Or.

My favorite. When you state, "You own this board."

 

[Admin.]

 

[Breakfall]

I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.

Can I use this as P.I.?

The "Jew" part I mean.

Apparently you’re a PI fiend. No Jew. My foreskin was cut off when I was four years old for medical reasons. My penis was too big to get past the foreskin and it caused a smegma infection. I would have liked a partial foreskin at least. I’ve been stretching it for two years randomly to try gain it back, but it’s hard yards. Oh well...

Hey. Idiot. I didn't ask "fore" a case study on why you have so many gay STDs.

My God you’re a child!

Riiiiggghhhttt...Because I'm the one running around with my dick and balls dragging on the pavement demanding the sexual predators all get banned or you are leaving.

Or.

My favorite. When you state, "You own this board."

What the fuck? Get off the drugs you cunt!

 

[Flynn]

I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.

Can I use this as P.I.?

The "Jew" part I mean.

Apparently you’re a PI fiend. No Jew. My foreskin was cut off when I was four years old for medical reasons. My penis was too big to get past the foreskin and it caused a smegma infection. I would have liked a partial foreskin at least. I’ve been stretching it for two years randomly to try gain it back, but it’s hard yards. Oh well...

Hey. Idiot. I didn't ask "fore" a case study on why you have so many gay STDs.

My God you’re a child!

Riiiiggghhhttt...Because I'm the one running around with my dick and balls dragging on the pavement demanding the sexual predators all get banned or you are leaving.

Or.

My favorite. When you state, "You own this board."

What the fuck? Get off the drugs you cunt!

You never stated you "owned" this board? Meaning you claim to have kingdomship over this forum, or were you "drinking" again?

Did you also not demand that a poster be banned because you felt deep down in your cock that Q aka Maxis was a sex offender? Did you also not threaten to leave and never come back if your girlie demands weren't met?

Fucking clown.

 

[Frood]

I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.

Can I use this as P.I.?

The "Jew" part I mean.

Apparently you’re a PI fiend. No Jew. My foreskin was cut off when I was four years old for medical reasons. My penis was too big to get past the foreskin and it caused a smegma infection. I would have liked a partial foreskin at least. I’ve been stretching it for two years randomly to try gain it back, but it’s hard yards. Oh well...

Hey. Idiot. I didn't ask "fore" a case study on why you have so many gay STDs.

My God you’re a child!

Riiiiggghhhttt...Because I'm the one running around with my dick and balls dragging on the pavement demanding the sexual predators all get banned or you are leaving.

Or.

My favorite. When you state, "You own this board."

What the fuck? Get off the drugs you cunt!

You never stated you "owned" this board? Meaning you claim to have kingdomship over this forum, or were you "drinking" again?

Did you also not demand that a poster be banned because you felt deep down in your cock that Q aka Maxis was a sex offender? Did you also not threaten to leave and never come back if your girlie demands weren't met?

Fucking clown.

We're fucking Aussies... we've always got a drink in hand, you falafel fixing fivebrow Farukian fart stain..

 

[Flynn]

I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.

Can I use this as P.I.?

The "Jew" part I mean.

Apparently you’re a PI fiend. No Jew. My foreskin was cut off when I was four years old for medical reasons. My penis was too big to get past the foreskin and it caused a smegma infection. I would have liked a partial foreskin at least. I’ve been stretching it for two years randomly to try gain it back, but it’s hard yards. Oh well...

Hey. Idiot. I didn't ask "fore" a case study on why you have so many gay STDs.

My God you’re a child!

Riiiiggghhhttt...Because I'm the one running around with my dick and balls dragging on the pavement demanding the sexual predators all get banned or you are leaving.

Or.

My favorite. When you state, "You own this board."

What the fuck? Get off the drugs you cunt!

You never stated you "owned" this board? Meaning you claim to have kingdomship over this forum, or were you "drinking" again?

Did you also not demand that a poster be banned because you felt deep down in your cock that Q aka Maxis was a sex offender? Did you also not threaten to leave and never come back if your girlie demands weren't met?

Fucking clown.

We're fucking Aussies... we've always got a drink in hand, you falafel fixing fivebrow Farukian fart stain..

What's in your other hand? Breakfart's dick that weighs more than an anvil?

 

[Frood]

I resent that my foreskin was cut off like a jew without a clue.

Can I use this as P.I.?

The "Jew" part I mean.

Apparently you’re a PI fiend. No Jew. My foreskin was cut off when I was four years old for medical reasons. My penis was too big to get past the foreskin and it caused a smegma infection. I would have liked a partial foreskin at least. I’ve been stretching it for two years randomly to try gain it back, but it’s hard yards. Oh well...

Hey. Idiot. I didn't ask "fore" a case study on why you have so many gay STDs.

My God you’re a child!

Riiiiggghhhttt...Because I'm the one running around with my dick and balls dragging on the pavement demanding the sexual predators all get banned or you are leaving.

Or.

My favorite. When you state, "You own this board."

What the fuck? Get off the drugs you cunt!

You never stated you "owned" this board? Meaning you claim to have kingdomship over this forum, or were you "drinking" again?

Did you also not demand that a poster be banned because you felt deep down in your cock that Q aka Maxis was a sex offender? Did you also not threaten to leave and never come back if your girlie demands weren't met?

Fucking clown.

We're fucking Aussies... we've always got a drink in hand, you falafel fixing fivebrow Farukian fart stain..

What's in your other hand? Breakfart's dick that weighs more than an anvil?

Your scrawny online neck as I squeeze at leisure and delight in your bug eyes popping in and out at various velocities...