I cant even poke a toe in the cesspool of singles without a bunch of unessesary psycho bullshit.
And there is no way I'd ever go on some dating site.
Online dating has been very productive for me in the past. Met some great women, been in some very satisfying long term relationships including the decade-long one I'm in now.
But it's got it's caveats.
Hot women like you are going to be inundated and even sexually harassed with messages including stupid one liners such as "Huw R Y SExee". The sheer volume of messages are enough to overwhelm just about anyone.
I only dated women at the top end of the scale, and they all had similar stories, many had given up for a while, some were about to give up and they met me just in time to remind them that there are a small fraction of guys like me on there and it's worth plowing through thousands of losers to get the prize.
When I was single, my friend Tiffany was sure her boyfriend was cheating because she found he had a profile on POF.
So she begged me to troll it. So i started a profile with fake pictures and wrote to him to see if he was active(he told her it was old and he wasnt using it).
So i actually started getting messages. This one guy was actually nice and we were having a conversation. And i felt bad so i told him i wasnt actually looking for anyone, that it was a fake profile and what I was doing. And he thought it was funny and asked for a picture of me for real. So i sent him one and we kept talking.
That turned into a phone call. And i agreed to meet up with him later that evening. I chose a pub that was walking distance from where i lived(it was a downtown of a small town area).
He seemed cool but then it became a sob story. His wife left him and not just that....but abandoned her elderly mother with him. And the mother died. This was a week prior to this "date". I guess he stayed living with his mother in law for like a year. It was pretty strange.
Then the DJ came up and asked for any song requests so I asked if he had a book of choices. He said he had nothing listing what music he had....which was fine but my "date" got rude about it and said to this DJ "what you dont have anything for her to look at?".... but he said it with a hostile attitude that made me uncomfortable and put me off entirely.
I mean....if you are trying to impress me? Being rude and shitty towards other human beings isnt how you do it. Talking about your income wont do it. Slamming people in conversation definately wont do it.
And he didnt have much a sense of humor. I had to explain a few jokes....come on.
There was just nothing there. So when he left I did the side kiss and thanked him and shit and was glad it was done and i could go climb in bed with my girls and continue enjoying my singlehood.
Well this guy texted me the very next morning. To wish me a "Good morning". And I ignored it because to me.....you need a minute to digest the date. I've never enjoyed constant contact with anyone. It wears me out FAST.
So by the afternoon he had called me a total of 12 times (while he is at work....wtf...that's just immature and irresponsible), wished me a "happy" whatever hour of the day it was....and by this time I was convinced that I was ghosting this guy because he was just TOO much.
So a few days later I get this LONG email from him and he is going on about how he thought we really clicked(lol wut?) and how if I want him to not talk to other women he wont, how he is sick of going home to an empty house and he isnt wanting "anymore games".....it was just this 8 paragraph assault of emotions he was just bleeding all at me. Like i could have been anyone.
I'm kind, warm and friendly(you've met me) and I can talk to anyone, sometimes these types of clinging and shyer people just grab onto that and start thinking I'm gonna move right in and take care of them and nuture them. I dont know what else it is.
I seriously just responded back with "it was one date....please chill". And I blocked him because he kinda scared me.
That was my big dating site experience.
It just seems like so much work and risk with little benefit. I'm happy as a person, and i certainly have my issues too that another man may not want to deal with. I like more organic connections if they happen.
I definately do not envy those who are trying to find a partner in these times.
Oh....Tiffs boyfriend was cheating. However
.....not via his inactive POF account. He was fucking his "step cousin".
