What R U doing...... RIGHT NOW!!?

[Swamp-Duck]

It’s so quiet, like them films where your the only person left on earth.

 

[Frood]

My poop earlier was so tranquil... except me looking all around every minute for snakes to slither up and break my serene moment.

Those pricks have no social skills whatsoever. When they SHOULD be going the opposite way because of stranger danger or machinery noise, many of them go "fuck it... I've got a 20 second loop memory and I'm going to go investigate"...

 

[Breakfall]

Binging on all the new Star Wars series on Disney plus…
(don’t tell X, he’ll probably start sexualising children in his mind because it’s a Disney streaming service…)

 

[Dove]

Mother in laws can be horrid but mine is very delightful as a person. I've always been one of her children, even when my wife and I initially divorced. She would always send me messages or call me to say I would be forever welcome in her house whether I had our children with me or a new flame (obviously not at the same time)...

My mother and father in law are very Christian, but above that, they walk the walk too. I respect them heaps.

Another LONG POST ALERT

My mother in law is a meddling pain in the ass who you cannot even have a conversation with because shes always agenda driven and looking for problems to solve.

My best friends washing machine is broken. So she started harrassing us about repair men and hounding. By bestie is a free lance writer...and he works best at night. And sometimes he will have bourbon and a cigar. And one morning MIL showed up to pick Squish up for the day and she smelled his cigar (it had been out for hours but shes constantly looking for proof we are smoking...we dont smoke). And I told her that was Ms(I'm gonna call my bestie M) cigar from the night before.

Next day Squish was throwing a fit and crying that she didnt want Uncle M to die of cancer and how cigars cause cancer of everything and Uncle M is gonna die and she doesnt want him to die. And yes she does this shit to manipulate.

My 17 year old likes ginger ale. So Squish came home talking about corn syrup in the gingerale.

And this is just the past week. I have 12 years of shit....some intense and many little things like what I listed. I've tried hard to foster a normal and genuine relationship with her to no avail.

And no one talks about Gs past drug addiction and his many years of recovery. It's like some dirty secret that has provided some uncomfortable silences but it's not to be discussed.

I'm just so tired of it all. This was my breaking point. I am floored at what just happened.

It's like this. This shit has been a problem for years now and I've put a lot of energy into working past it. Trying to communicate about it. Trying to establish healthy boundaries. And if its gonna be that everything I say and my thoughts and feelings are so easily disregarded that things just happen behind my back? Yeah this isnt how I'm gonna live. If it's that important to continue to do this shit where you are gonna just sneak and be dishonest.....just dont. I'll get out of the way.

At this point now I accept it's not ever gonna change and I have to be honest with myself and decide if this is something I'm willing to put up with for the rest of my life. And I absolutely do not think I can. And it pisses me off that I even have to have this dialog with myself.

And of course now it's being taken seriously only because i told him to leave and am talking about filing divorce and NOT stopping it this time. It wouldnt be taken seriously had I panicked and felt bad for M and went to this fucking house. I really dont think they expected that M would tell me I can stay here as long as I want or that I would take him up on it.

If they wanted to put in a rough spot to pressure me into doing something they picked the worst place to get me stuck in because I would live here with M for the rest of my life and be happy. Yeah put me directly in the hands of a man I have a 28 year history with who has looked after me many many times. The guy who bails me out of jail at 4am. Who rescues me everytime I have a crisis. Who I can drink all night with, go crawl into his bed in my underwear and all he will do is tuck me in and leave a glass of water and motrin on the night stand. Hand me over to a man who loves me for who I am as a person and loves my kids like they are his family.

Yeah that's great thinking. IM definately glad I'm here.

This morning G decided to go through my phone. So that was what I got being okay with him staying here for Easter. He went into my messages with M and decided to wake me up with a fight. Right in front of the kids. Last night M and I had some drinks and stayed up and he made an Easter bunny cake. And then we went outside and hid eggs. And it was so fun. So that was a pretty intense contrast. Everything I fine right now... M is still in bed and G has taken Squish to the park. So I'm just sitting here trying to calm my anxiety.

And G is demanding counseling and I dont know why because the last time he didnt listen to the counselor at all. He just wanted back. So it wasnt about working through anything it was about getting me back. I cant imagine it would be any different now.

I wanted clear and open communication and transparency so I didnt get that at all. And now I want space and I'm not gonna get that either. Anything I need from this relationship I get the opposite and he always has his reasons why. I couldnt get honesty and his fucking mother out of our marriage and it was my fault because I wouldnt have agreed to do this. Now he doesnt want to give me space because he just doesnt want to lose me. So breath down my fucking neck and go through my phone and refuse to leave. Because that's gonna make me stay and want to be where my feelings do not matter one single tiny bit right?

Uhg. Happy fucking Easter.

 

[RAVEN]

I am enjoying a lazy Sunday morning/afternoon doing not a thing :D May go wash/vac my Jeep.. depending on how ambitious I feel later lol

 

[Seamajor]

Watering lawns and gardens, putting water in the pool, and posting

 

[Breakfall]

Another LONG POST ALERT

My mother in law is a meddling pain in the ass who you cannot even have a conversation with because shes always agenda driven and looking for problems to solve.

My best friends washing machine is broken. So she started harrassing us about repair men and hounding. By bestie is a free lance writer...and he works best at night. And sometimes he will have bourbon and a cigar. And one morning MIL showed up to pick Squish up for the day and she smelled his cigar (it had been out for hours but shes constantly looking for proof we are smoking...we dont smoke). And I told her that was Ms(I'm gonna call my bestie M) cigar from the night before.

Next day Squish was throwing a fit and crying that she didnt want Uncle M to die of cancer and how cigars cause cancer of everything and Uncle M is gonna die and she doesnt want him to die. And yes she does this shit to manipulate.

My 17 year old likes ginger ale. So Squish came home talking about corn syrup in the gingerale.

And this is just the past week. I have 12 years of shit....some intense and many little things like what I listed. I've tried hard to foster a normal and genuine relationship with her to no avail.

And no one talks about Gs past drug addiction and his many years of recovery. It's like some dirty secret that has provided some uncomfortable silences but it's not to be discussed.

I'm just so tired of it all. This was my breaking point. I am floored at what just happened.

It's like this. This shit has been a problem for years now and I've put a lot of energy into working past it. Trying to communicate about it. Trying to establish healthy boundaries. And if its gonna be that everything I say and my thoughts and feelings are so easily disregarded that things just happen behind my back? Yeah this isnt how I'm gonna live. If it's that important to continue to do this shit where you are gonna just sneak and be dishonest.....just dont. I'll get out of the way.

At this point now I accept it's not ever gonna change and I have to be honest with myself and decide if this is something I'm willing to put up with for the rest of my life. And I absolutely do not think I can. And it pisses me off that I even have to have this dialog with myself.

And of course now it's being taken seriously only because i told him to leave and am talking about filing divorce and NOT stopping it this time. It wouldnt be taken seriously had I panicked and felt bad for M and went to this fucking house. I really dont think they expected that M would tell me I can stay here as long as I want or that I would take him up on it.

If they wanted to put in a rough spot to pressure me into doing something they picked the worst place to get me stuck in because I would live here with M for the rest of my life and be happy. Yeah put me directly in the hands of a man I have a 28 year history with who has looked after me many many times. The guy who bails me out of jail at 4am. Who rescues me everytime I have a crisis. Who I can drink all night with, go crawl into his bed in my underwear and all he will do is tuck me in and leave a glass of water and motrin on the night stand. Hand me over to a man who loves me for who I am as a person and loves my kids like they are his family.

Yeah that's great thinking. IM definately glad I'm here.

This morning G decided to go through my phone. So that was what I got being okay with him staying here for Easter. He went into my messages with M and decided to wake me up with a fight. Right in front of the kids. Last night M and I had some drinks and stayed up and he made an Easter bunny cake. And then we went outside and hid eggs. And it was so fun. So that was a pretty intense contrast. Everything I fine right now... M is still in bed and G has taken Squish to the park. So I'm just sitting here trying to calm my anxiety.

And G is demanding counseling and I dont know why because the last time he didnt listen to the counselor at all. He just wanted back. So it wasnt about working through anything it was about getting me back. I cant imagine it would be any different now.

I wanted clear and open communication and transparency so I didnt get that at all. And now I want space and I'm not gonna get that either. Anything I need from this relationship I get the opposite and he always has his reasons why. I couldnt get honesty and his fucking mother out of our marriage and it was my fault because I wouldnt have agreed to do this. Now he doesnt want to give me space because he just doesnt want to lose me. So breath down my fucking neck and go through my phone and refuse to leave. Because that's gonna make me stay and want to be where my feelings do not matter one single tiny bit right?

Uhg. Happy fucking Easter.

The fact that he doesn’t want to give you space at the moment because he doesn’t want to lose you is a good thing. You have some pulling power still in the relationship. Pull him your way of seeing things as far as the future holds.

Maybe you can still get to have that house and keep your husband after all?

As far as M goes…he’s a writer! Writers need their personal space to write…that goes without saying really. The fact that he’s helping you out now and as always, suggests that he cares a lot about you. If I was G I would naturally be a bit worried…

However, if I was G and thought that I had lost you to M…I would probably end up fucking up M and leaving for good. But that’s just me…Breakfall’s perspective and mindset. I have a “plenty of fish in the ocean” mentality and I’ve been burned a few times before.

Hope this heartbreak pans out positively for you Dovely xx

 

[Breakfall]

I’m about to wake Mrs Breakfall up so she can make me a coffee. She makes the best Brazilian or Peruvian coffee.

 

[Dove]

The fact that he doesn’t want to give you space at the moment because he doesn’t want to lose you is a good thing. You have some pulling power still in the relationship. Pull him your way of seeing things as far as the future holds.

Maybe you can still get to have that house and keep your husband after all?

As far as M goes…he’s a writer! Writers need their personal space to write…that goes without saying really. The fact that he’s helping you out now and as always, suggests that he cares a lot about you. If I was G I would naturally be a bit worried…

However, if I was G and thought that I had lost you to M…I would probably end up fucking up M and leaving for good. But that’s just me…Breakfall’s perspective and mindset. I have a “plenty of fish in the ocean” mentality and I’ve been burned a few times before.

Hope this heartbreak pans out positively for you Dovely xx

He either leaves or I'll file divorce and get a restraining order.

Its NOT a fucking good thing that I want space and he is gonna smother me. This is what he should fo if he wants me to hate and resent him.

When someone wants space from you....give it to them. Fucking hell.

By staying here he is showing he only gives a fuck about himself. It flat out INFURIATES me when I say I want space and instead I get smothered. Fucking enrages me. If he cares at ALL about me he will leave me the fuck alone instead of breathing down my neck and going through my fucking phone. I told him to go divorce me at least 20 times this morning because he went through my phone, saw a convo between M and myself and woke me up mad about it. I told him to LEAVE then.

M loves me. And M is a fucking beast. He is a large man. ....not fat....but big. He towers over most people. There wont be any violence going on over here and if G is that disturbed by this he only has himself to blame considering it was his lies and bullshit that landed me here. If you dont want to lose your woman to another man.....it helps not to make sure she ends up living in his house. I'm not saying that's happening .....I'm saying it's his fault I'm even here.

 

[cw_]

Dear Dove,
Please continue to respect your wishes and privacy especially if 'G' does not.
It seems to me that he has no right to stay as uninvited, unwelcome guest. I suggest using whatever rational means available to remove this intrusion.

 

[Dove]

Dear Dove,
Please continue to respect your wishes and privacy especially if 'G' does not.
It seems to me that he has no right to stay as uninvited, unwelcome guest. I suggest using whatever rational means available to remove this intrusion.

He agreed to leave but I had to agree to counseling.

And I dont see the point because he never actually listens to the couselor......this is not the first round of marriage counseling.

Sorry guys for ranting.....its just a lot today.

All my family is gone. I dont mean my girls ....I mean my dad, my grandma and my extended people. I dont have anyone. My mother depends on me like a child. M is all I have on my end.....no shit I talk to him. This house is MY safe place. And G actually said "well why dont you leave and I'll stay with the girls"......are you fucking kidding me? Now he is all weird about M. So he doesnt care that I would have no one while he had his whole fucking family he can go to.

Yeah no he has to go.

 

[cw_]

Um, good he left, BUT this is control. You didn't have to agree to anything...he had to leave.
Also, don't open the door to him. And stay safe.

 

[Dove]

Um, good he left, BUT this is control. You didn't have to agree to anything...he had to leave.
Also, don't open the door to him. And stay safe.

I know. I want to keep some sort of peace if I can and I wanted him to go with as little drama as possible because he escalates when he wants something. Its Easter, he woke me up fighting with me....i dont want Squish having her night ruined. But yeah I know its controling. That's a big part of the issue....one i was willing to work with until this massive shit show. The extent of the lies and dishonest takes my breath away. I really never would have thought he would pull anything like THIS.

Its fucked up because I swear I constantly get the opposite. When I want to work on things and communicate.....nope. And when it gets to the point I want space? Nope. That's when I get smothered.

M told him he really has to give me space because smothering me like that is gonna trigger panick attacks and make me sick. He listened to M...go figure. I can say that and it doesnt matter. M pulls him aside (thank God for that) and says it and now he takes it seriously. See how little regard I'm getting?

M cooked steak bites and veggies and it was fucking amazing....and he gave me a xanax lol.

I have to have G get me into the storage unit because I only brought stuff for two weeks and now I'm here for the foreseeable future.

I'm so mad. I wasn't gonna post about any of this at all. I was just gonna rip on Turdock and Scrot......and I've done spewed it all lol.

I was privately talking to Vitty about some of this but then I found out I was being coerced to live under a roof purchased not by us but by my micromanaging and meddling mother in law and I've just been too pissed and flabbergasted. I feel VERY betrayed.

I did everything I was supposed to do with a great attitude. I was warm. Positive and uplifting. I took care of the house. I made all the meals. I handled the budget. I homeschool our daughter. I had sex even when I didnt really fucking feel like it. I did everything he asked me to do. And he STILL cant respect my boundaries with his family.

 

[Breakfall]

Well…I’ve just come back from a coastal adventure with my better half. We’re basically inseparable. I actually don’t enjoy being away from her at all. We’re besties in this scenario @Dove.

All said and done…maybe your bestie was waiting patiently all along? 28 years is a long spell!

 

[Dove]

Well…I’ve just come back from a coastal adventure with my better half. We’re basically inseparable. I actually don’t enjoy being away from her at all. We’re besties in this scenario @Dove.

All said and done…maybe your bestie was waiting patiently all along? 28 years is a long spell!

Oh boy.

Maybe. He sent this to me when I was hooked on heroin and about to go into rehab
Had me sobbing. .. and now it always makes me think of him

Best cover ever

 

[Breakfall]

Oh boy.

Maybe. He sent this to me when I was hooked on heroin and about to go into rehab
Had me sobbing. .. and now it always makes me think of him

Best cover ever

This is one of my heartfelt and heartache songs…and now it’s also yours! Xx

 

[Breakfall]

Mrs Breakfall made me play her this song today. It drives me mad because she plays it over and over. She says this is her song to me! Lol…I gotta love it. @Dove

 

[cw_]

I'd like to see Dove give herself the space to stop worrying about what everyone else wants or doing what she 'should' do. Maybe treat herself to something she enjoys...

 

[RAVEN]

^^^^^^^^^

Having a cup of coffee and doing a photoshop in one of my groups..

 

[Dove]

Pl

I'd like to see Dove give herself the space to stop worrying about what everyone else wants or doing what she 'should' do. Maybe treat herself to something she enjoys...

I'm in the perfect place for that too.

I kinda feel like when Jenny showed back up to Forrests house and slept off drug withdrawls. Except he isnt retarded and I'm not on drugs right now.

Lmao

 

[cw_]

I am calling RAVEN a heartless bastard right now.

@RAVEN you are a heartless bastard!!!

Anyway, I think it was more like

except instead of charging 5 cents I gave 2.

 

[Dove]

Hey I've been on these forums a long time. I know where I'm posting and what kind of crowd I have. I wouldnt wanna spazz out on some serious forum with people trying too hard to support total strangers.

It's cool LOL

 

[TheHaze]

Here on the puter killing time and wailing on the washer (new Maytag) repair man to figure why it will not spin -
said they will be there 11 am to 1 pm and it' now 2:29 pm - - - - - - -
Maybe some of the ladys here can come over and beat me up

 

[cw_]

Ack! I'm currently experiencing a cruel coincidence. Received a check in the mail from a bank account I had closed. The check was for $0.02.
The 'system' is punishing me for calling RAVEN a heartless bastard. I'm almost sorry about that now. :,(

 

[cw_]

Also, the postage paid on this punitive mail was $0.50.

 

[Swamp-Duck]

Getting ready to take doggie to the park for his run, at least it ain’t torcher now the weathers better.

 

[Scooter]

I'm getting ready to go to a funeral.

 

[realgrimm]

Have to bail on some home repairs, gotta couple-a drops to do today one is with a friend I only get to see every 2 months or so.. so I have to run around first before I head out

 

[RAVEN]

Procrastinating :D I have mandatory online training courses that I have to get done, so going to start that.. They are boring AF and I always put them off until the last minute lol

 

[Dove]

I'm preparing to take refresher courses for my EMT license.

I'll be going back to work in the next few months. ....just gonna do per diem midnight a few nights a week.