One time when I was working at the college I got a call about a young woman causing a disturbance in the cafeteria. When I got there it was obvious she was agitated and not really thinking clearly. It took a long long time of speaking calmly and repeating over and over that I couldn't just leave her alone so that wasn't going to happen and listening to her and not overreacting or escalating the situation when she challenged me more directly.
Eventually I did get her to come with me to our office so I could call her family; I'd learned she hadn't slept much if at all for about 3 days and indeed had a history of mental health challenges. Her family arrived and took her home, hopefully to some rest and maybe a psychiatric appointment.
Most (maybe all) of the other officers I have no doubt would have simply walked up, issued a few commands, and if/when she didn't comply would have tackled her, cuffed her, and hauled her to the magistrate.
She needed help; not handcuffs, a trip to the city jail, and an arrest on her record.
I did have to turn in a report though; between the chief of police and other administrative people they decided to expel her. It kinda made me feel like all my effort and time and concern was all for nothing. It wasn't what the student disciplinary system wanted or expected. The system only wanted polite unquestioning obedience and anyone not willing to give it was to be tossed out like trash.
Disappointed? Yes I was. Very.
Would I have handled a similar event in the same way again after that?
Absofuckinglutely.
People, especially kids, are more important than our egos or our presumptions of entitlement whether that's to respect or even just obedience. We'll never arrest our way to a better society.
We have to support and look out for each other, even when it's not easy, because the institutions and systems in 'Murica don't give any fucks about us as individuals. None at all.
That's as true for kids as anyone else.
I worked in peri-natal substance abuse with addicted mothers , mostly meth, years back. I taught some classes on general health and child development. I created a curriculum using materials from early child education about children devleoping.
Most of these women were from working class, white, Latina and a few black mothers. I came from a very working class/poor class of people too. I was really compassionate because I new but for the grace of "God" I could have well been one of them. They loved me and enjoyed my classes. My colleagues said I was too soft.
Like one time, one of the pregnant mom's asked if I would watch her two little ones while she went to the bathroom. She's like 7 mos pregnant, peeing happens a lot at that stage of pregnancy. I watched them for like 2, maybe 4 minutes total.
I got a talking to about that from the supervisor. I should have declined. I should have made her stay with them at all times...take them into the bathroom with her. I was enabling her...etc, etc.
She went to take a fucking piss, ffs. I said I saw no harm in it. Lot's of little things like that. They had the model of comply or you're going to jail since you're an addict.
The ladies loved me. When we had budget cuts, they cut my position. About a year later I ran into one of the girls at a restaurant. She had turned her life around and was working. She ran to me and gave me a hug. "Lily, we missed you so much when you got cut." I just said "Yeah, well, I don't lose a job, I just got a new assignment. If you see any of the girls tell them I miss them too."
She said "You know they got rid of you because we loved you. You were the only one that treated us like human beings, not just an addiction."
I said "Yeah, well you are a human being, not just an addiction. It's not that big a deal." She just smiled, said "Yes, it is...in the addict or jail program we're in, it's a really big deal. They treat us like shit."
They challenged me and tried to even embarrass me to test me. When I talked about exercise and well-being they would ask things like "Is sex, especially if I'm on top, good exercise.?"
Being I had worked is sexual health before that...I easily quipped with "If you're doing it right, it can be"...seeing that I didn't melt down, get outraged or turn them in as "non-compliant" and "difficult"...we built trust. My classes had laughter and discussion.
Like you say, treating people as individual's and human beings you are helping, not hurting these situations.
