Murdock's BFB (Big Fat Boyfriend) Rejected as Santa Claus

[The Prowler]

Because he is too fat.

Imagine being too fat to be Santa!!!

 

[Lily]

Not as fat as the emoji I gave ya. LMFAO...

HAHAHAHAHA!

 

[X]

being too bald to stand in the Sun seems a moar pressing matter, meh that's jus' me tho

 

[Lily]

being too bald to stand in the Sun seems a moar pressing matter, meh that's jus' me tho

You know he tries to slut shame her. He goes on about what she's done, in the past, with men online. Interestingly, never with him though.

 

[Murdy]

You know he tries to slut shame her. He goes on about what she's done, in the past, with men online. Interestingly, never with him though.

I refer to him as friend zone refugee 2675439

 

[Murdy]

Because he is too fat.

Imagine being too fat to be Santa!!!

I still call him deaaaaaaady cause all that sexy tho

 

[Lily]

I refer to him as zone refugee 2675439

He's in the rejects club. Never been offered a tit pic in all his years online.

 

[Lily]

I still call him deaaaaaaady cause all that sexy tho

The Howler's online profile:

Sex: I hope!
Height: 5'5"
complexion: pasty
Hobbies: ankle humper and part-time appliance salesman
profession: stalker
martial status: I am the ball and the chain

 

[Murdy]

I don’t know about you, but I’m about to sit on his lap and tell him exactly what I want

 

[Lily]

I don’t know about you, but I’m about to sit on his lap and tell him exactly what I want

Hot Santa...I like the direction this thread is moving.

 

[Alticus]

Hot Santa...I like the direction this thread is moving.

I don't know how he can eat all of those cookies with milk and stay skinny like that.

 

[Admin.]

I don't know how he can eat all of those cookies with milk and stay skinny like that.

Think about it, he pops into every house in Christendom with millions of passionate people passionately waiting up for him.

 

[Murdy]

I don't know how he can eat all of those cookies with milk and stay skinny like that.

it’s gotta be all the ho ho ho’s

 

[Lily]

I don't know how he can eat all of those cookies with milk and stay skinny like that.

I'm sure he has plenty of workout partners. *waggles eyebrows*

 

[Alticus]

I'm sure he has plenty of workout partners. *waggles eyebrows*

Oooooh.......you going on the naughty list.

 

[Murdy]

How we know Santa is a man…

He shows up late, eats your cookie, empties his sack, comes only once and leaves while you are sleeping.

 

[Lily]

Oooooh.......you going on the naughty list.

“When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better. ”​

― Mae West

 

[Alticus]

“When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better. ”​

― Mae West

lol That's cute. I like that.

 

[Lily]

lol That's cute. I like that.

You should read more of her quotes online. They're funny, especially for them being around almost 100 years ago

 

[Murdy]

Did you know?

Male reindeers lose their antlers in the fall and don’t get them back until spring. It was a team of females…


THE.WHOLE.DAMN.TIME.

 

[Lily]

Did you know?

Male Reindeers lose their antlers in the fall and don’t get them back until spring. It was a team of females…


THE.WHOLE.DAMN.TIME.

 

[Murdy]

 

[Lily]

@Murdy

I like this Santa. He sho is purdy...

 

[Murdy]

Yummy

 

[Lily]

Yummy

I like big beefy guys with meat on the bones...

 

[Breakfall]

Think about it, he pops into every house in Christendom with millions of passionate people passionately waiting up for him.

Shut the fuck up halfwit! You don’t even know the difference between “too” and “to”.
The cum must be perpetually dribbling from your whore’s handbag of a mouth…you have da aidseeeee of da brain! Löl.

 

[Breakfall]

Because he is too fat.

Imagine being too fat to be Santa!!!

Sounds legit! Löl.

 

[Murdy]

Sounds legit! Löl.

Oh he’s fat alright…. where it counts.

 

[Breakfall]

Oh he’s fat alright…. where it counts.

His forehead? Lölölölölöl

 

[Murdy]

His forehead? Lölölölölöl

That doesn’t even make sense

Are you going to sober up or is your entire family going to walk out on you for Christmas… or should I say, whoever is left…..