What the fuck was the Summer Of Poofer?
Summer of Poofer: The Bullet List Edition
° Dove and King Martini hook up behind the scenes
° Cybersex ensues
° Dove buys King Martini IL-MI Greyhound ticket so he can come visit her
° They meet at Starbucks over half-cal soy lattes
° They consummate affair in Starbucks washroom (because husband)
° They promise to meet again (even though Dove has bad breath and King Martini is penniless)
° Dove travels to Windy City, spends days in King Martini's aromatic hovel
° King Martini's cat dies on dirty mattress
° Dove returns to "Roger & Me" city; honeymoon ends
° Acrimony ensues
° Heartbroken King Martini plays break-up for laughs on Flea board
° Flea board traffic quadruples
° Dove begs King Martini to cease and desist
° King Martini redoubles efforts, Flea board traffic quintuples
° Dove calls King Martini "psycho" then contacts King Martini's ex
° King Martini rats out unethical conduct to Dove employers
° King Martini wants possibly autistic child's pawned Switch returned
° Dove posts pic of said Switch about to be dropped in toilet bowl
° Internet breaks
° Threats of bi-lateral legal action ensue
° Countless online friendships jeopardized or destroyed
° Both Dove and King Martini go silent for months
° Internet is repaired
That's "The Summer of Poofer" in a nutshell, Kooch. The chronology may be wonky (I wasn't there, praise the Lord!), but the facts are solid.
Since then, these two airheads have been at each other's throats. Some spectators appreciate the entertainment value of this Ultimate Match but, frankly, most folks are simply bored to shit of that spat by now.
Of course, both Dove and King Martini will disagree with this assessment.