Jokes thread

Big Sexy

narcoleptic mattress salesman
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Memphis
So 3 guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
 

Breakfall

Such is life...
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KNOCK KNOCK!

WHO'S THERE?

FUCK.

FUCK WHO?

FUCK YOU!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
:GoodStuff:

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
 

TheHaze

If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won'teither
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What do you call a virgina with big mud flaps ?










Sharonas hindaway - - - - -
 

Lily of Denial

Factory Bastard
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De donde me da la gana.
248515990_4497010500381150_5424509423138565931_n.jpg
 

chew the fat

Fluent In Sarcasm
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About 5 minutes ago I heard quite a lot of sirens racing past my place but I don't know what was going on ...

Anyone know if Trump owns a residence anywhere near me ... ?