Worst Pickup Lines Ever

[chew the fat]

This one is advice for the other sex to get their act together ...

 

[chew the fat]

I'm going to try a bulk mail out ...

 

[chew the fat]

I need a pick-up ... could you pick me up ...

 

[Frood]

I never had a pick up line guru or sensai to follow and I got into my relationship quick young...so, during our brief divorce, I'd just ask chicks I fancied, "so, do you want to fuck?"

It worked better than expected....and no bullshit lines.

Though to be fair, I was in my twenties and early thirties, thus often being pursued with no effort required on my part.

At parties especially.... alcohol is a panty melter.

Some were hot, some weren't.... meh...

 

[chew the fat]

For the sophisticated well dressed cool and classy and intelligent but still a bit fussy female, would 'intercourse' work better than 'fuck' ...

Not asking for a friend ...

 

[Frood]

For the sophisticated well dressed cool and classy and intelligent but still a bit fussy female, would 'intercourse' work better than 'fuck' ...

Not asking for a friend ...

Lol... dunno... I was only single up till 2010....so your modern day mileage may vary.


I still remember a young in the 90's who was only 5 foot 7, with glasses and a geeky moustache, who got dragged by his friend to bars and nightclubs (as the story goes)....

His mate was all about shit talk or rooster talk in the clubs, talking huge game, and in between the clubs and bars when they were walking to the next.

So big guy starts propositioning two random females about how big his bankroll and dick was, why both girls couldn't not come him with he and his mate, the quiet chick (gorgeous mind you) said to the scrimpy fellow, "I suppose you have a big balance and penis too"....


To which he said, "nah, they're itty bitty ones" with a smirk.

The girl went home with the geek and the jock had to masturbate all by his lonesome.

The geek looked like a Simpson's character to me and I laughed and laughed when he described the scenario to me.... and then he agreed.

"It was the best moment of my life" he said.....beaming proudly.

 

[chew the fat]

How about we sort this out with a Poll :-

 

[Dove]

I have 4 men....who have been having conversations with themselves in my socail media messenger for the past year.

One got all mad and called me a whore.

This is all entirely without me even responding to them.

I dont bother even telling them I'm married because anyone who looks at my FB should know that.

 

[chew the fat]

I have 4 men....who have been having conversations with themselves in my socail media messenger for the past year.

One got all mad and called me a whore.

This is all entirely without me even responding to them.

I dont bother even telling them I'm married because anyone who looks at my FB should know that.

Isn't it fucking annoying how some clowns out there can go on and on and on about 'pickup line' b/s ...

 

[Breakfall]

I enjoy saying this pickup line to my wife:

“Come smell my dick!”

I actually said it to her last night, to which she replied:

“Come pull my finger!”

 

[Dove]

My husband has this "come back" for pretty much anything I say.

If I say I'm hungry....he says..."I gotta something for you to snack on"

If I say my back hurt its "I got something to realign it with"

If I'm thirsty "I got a drink for ya"

Of I'm bored "come grab this joystick"

If I'm tired...."Come sleep on this dick"

Shit like that pretty much all the time and if the kids are around he can literally say it with facial expressions lol.

 

[Lily]

Romantic.

 

[chew the fat]

My husband has this "come back" for pretty much anything I say.

If I say I'm hungry....he says..."I gotta something for you to snack on"

If I say my back hurt its "I got something to realign it with"

If I'm thirsty "I got a drink for ya"

Of I'm bored "come grab this joystick"

If I'm tired...."Come sleep on this dick"

Shit like that pretty much all the time and if the kids are around he can literally say it with facial expressions lol.

You should be keeping a written record of these sayings, so we / us [pronouns] can get them down on paper and have them recorded and filed for future reference ...

 

[chew the fat]

It looks like pick up lines don't work any more as the modern female is too sophisticated so I'm thinking of using Tinder but I don't know how it works.

Would this work for an add if I put one on there ... I don't have wifi up here in the hills so I will have to use the free McDonald's wifi to get my message out there ...

 

[chew the fat]

How would this go, do you think ...

 

[TheHaze]

 

[TheHaze]

 

[chew the fat]

If I did pick up a female girl, do you think she/her might play Twister with me ...

 

[chew the fat]

Okay, I have a pickup line to beat every other one in existence ...

''Will you be my Tesla and I'll be your Battery and we can make sparks fly'' ...

What do you reckon ...

 

[chew the fat]

... I'll even give her/she chocolates to show I'm fucking serious ...

 

[chew the fat]

I'm hyperventilating because of you ... could you bring me a paper bag ...

 

[chew the fat]

Anyone else here think that 'Kick Me In The Nuts' would make a good way to meet a chick ...

You know, a little pain for a very big gain ...

 

[TheHaze]

My husband has this "come back" for pretty much anything I say.

If I say I'm hungry....he says..."I gotta something for you to snack on"

If I say my back hurt its "I got something to realign it with"

If I'm thirsty "I got a drink for ya"

Of I'm bored "come grab this joystick"

If I'm tired...."Come sleep on this dick"

Shit like that pretty much all the time and if the kids are around he can literally say it with facial expressions lol.

Tell him you want to chop up something - - - - - - - -

 

[Murdy]

My husband is addicted to video games, wanna fuck?

~ or something like that

 

[chew the fat]

You are the prettiest girl I have ever met ... did you have plastic surgery to look so good ...

[ this is gunna work ... ]

 

[Murdy]

Him: Can I have your number?

Me: Thank you for the compliment, but I’m married.

Him: *reaches into pocket and grabs business card to extend* Here, in case things don’t work out.

I’m just sorry I didn’t take it lol

 

[chew the fat]

Here's an original pick up line I just thought of that no one has ever heard before ...

''Wanna come and watch Netflix and Chill and we could binge on alcohol, food, chocolate and more alcohol and we could even watch your favourite Netflix show if we get time'' ...

 

[Alticus]

You wanna go back to your place for some coffee?

 

[chew the fat]

How would this go with a nice fair maiden ...

 

[Frood]

I have an innie prawn not an outtie, darling. Care to prove me wong?