Worst Pickup Lines Ever

Sharona

white wine divorcee
Messages
443
Location
Chicago
#1
Is there ice in your shirt? 'cause your boobs are cool.

Heard that yesterday from a guy at a pizza counter
 

TheHaze

If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won't eithe
Elite Bastards
Messages
4,036
#2
Is there ice in your shirt? 'cause your boobs are cool.

Heard that yesterday from a guy at a pizza counter
Did you suck his dick?
 

Iggy McLulz

Unapologetically Stoned
Elite Bastards
Messages
3,090
Location
7513
#3
I was standing outside of the tattoo shop waiting to be picked up and this guy walks up and asks if I want to go do something. It's not so much a dumb pickup line. But why the fuck would a chic who clearly just got a lot of ink done want to go anywhere but home? My entire forearm was visibly wrapped in saran wrap.
 

Longinus

No One Sings Me Lullabyes
Messages
168
Location
California
#4
Excuse me missy, do you know where the nearest porn video store is?

Excuse me missy, do you know where the nearest tropical fish store is?
 

offwidthe

Professional Yeti Hunter
Elite Bastards
Messages
1,074
Location
Bhutan
#5
How'd you like to be a single mother?
 

offwidthe

Professional Yeti Hunter
Elite Bastards
Messages
1,074
Location
Bhutan
#6
"Hi my name is Sharona I like to post things on the interwebs"
 

offwidthe

Professional Yeti Hunter
Elite Bastards
Messages
1,074
Location
Bhutan
#8
I would steal her wine and walk away.
 

Iggy McLulz

Unapologetically Stoned
Elite Bastards
Messages
3,090
Location
7513
#9
She'd probably stab you for that. :Run:
 

offwidthe

Professional Yeti Hunter
Elite Bastards
Messages
1,074
Location
Bhutan
#10
She doesn't seem like a stabber to me
 

Kilroy

...was here.
Messages
1,409
Location
Here.
#11
"How'd you like to come back to my place and be ultimately disappointed?"
 

offwidthe

Professional Yeti Hunter
Elite Bastards
Messages
1,074
Location
Bhutan
#12
you look good in that dress, it would look better on my floor.
 

Kilroy

...was here.
Messages
1,409
Location
Here.
#14
"Hello, I would like to penis your vagina."
 

Iggy McLulz

Unapologetically Stoned
Elite Bastards
Messages
3,090
Location
7513
#15
"Hello, I would like to penis your vagina."
I'm sure that one like that will eventually pop up. The last guy that messaged me sent me a pic of roses so I told him I had a penis and then he went away. I think I'll troll the next one, there will be more. The sad part is, my profile pic is of my GTA character. :LOL1:
 

Kilroy

...was here.
Messages
1,409
Location
Here.
#16
How about, "Pahhhhhhhhhdon me, madame, but I wish to stuff my padoodinum into your fanungulator."
 

Kilroy

...was here.
Messages
1,409
Location
Here.
#18
Looking at the entirety of that image, I am shocked -- shocked, I tell you -- to see somebody who goes by the name 'Islam' acting like a Chester.
 

Iggy McLulz

Unapologetically Stoned
Elite Bastards
Messages
3,090
Location
7513
#19
First I told him I had a penis which worked on the last guy. Then it got weird I sent him a pic of an old man and he got mad so I knew what was up then I was like chill out I'm only 14 and you saw where that went. I wish I could catch pedos and get paid for it.
 
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