Callout Scoundrel

[Master]

 

[The Countess]

Fuck you Poofer

 

[Aylana]

Is Flea eating benzo pressies?

Nasty

 

[The Countess]

Is Flea eating benzo pressies?

Nasty

your obsession with BEnzo is disturbing. I hope you find the healing you need, Poppy

 

[Aylana]

Is Flea eating benzo pressies?

Nasty

your obsession with BEnzo is disturbing. I hope you find the healing you need, Poppy

as KM said in a podcast, some of the people in the "community" are fucking pieces of shit that should be flushed twice.

Hey wait, that giant pressie in BF's photo was benzo, mystery solved

HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Aylana]

@ Bastard factory, that giant pressie is Benzo PI.

 

[Aylana]

THIS MATCH HAS BEEN CANCELED

 

[The Scoundrel]

Scoundrel should avoid escalators since aging folks have a hard time getting off them. They never tie their shoes, and when they get to the bottom, their laces are sucked into the machine, and they can't get their fucking shoe off in time, and they end up ground up like dog food.

I actually went arse over tit at the end of a moving walkway in Manchester Victoria train station the other month when I went to watch Nouvelle Vague so this post may be apt.

I was travelling with a friend who had recently had a stroke so I was watching out for him as he was a bit unsteady on his feet. We were trying to reduce the amount of walking we had to do so were pleased there was a moving walkway covering about 300 feet heading toward the exit. We got on and chatted as we travelled quite slowly along the footway, we were also looking at Google Maps to figure out which direction to take toward our hotel so were distracted from our environment. Our bags were set just ahead of us thereby blocking our vision of about 3 feet ahead. As we reached the end I was totally oblivious of the inch high lip separating the moving parts from the station platform and as my feet hit the lip I comically somersaulted over the bags and landed flat on my arse. Much as though I would have liked this to go unnoticed it was treated to a round of applause by the group of teens stood in proximity. I'm unsure as to whether any of the scrotes was recording this and searches of You Tube didn't show up any posts so I think my shame remains with my red face and the sight of me trying to redeem my cool persona.

I kept my wits over the rest of the visit but my friend did suggest I should begin to carry a selfie camera always turned on as the content could make me a few quid. My life can mirror that of a silent slapstick movie at times but it's better than being boring.

 

[Adam Hitler]

LOL Caskur's spat her dummy out and has been rage-sharting all over BC complaining about Flynn telling her off.

Flame Queen? Moar like drama queen... or should that be queef.

 

[The Scoundrel]

LOL Caskur's spat her dummy out and has been rage-sharting all over BC complaining about Flynn telling her off.

Flame Queen? Moar like drama queen... or should that be queef.

Caskur only does this shit for the drama hence calling me out and setting a match thread before I'd agreed to fuck all. Also with the demand for judges. For those of you that don't know there's always more fighting and wailing over judging than there is over the match itself layering half a tonne of spam over multiple threads for weeks to come. I was trying to avoid all that by creating a small space where people could show a little skill in comedy writing. That's all being usurped now and I feel less and less like being involved.

 

[Adam Hitler]

This is why I think flame matches are fucking retarded.

Case in point, say I had a match against Casket, (not that I ever would of course because they're ghey), any judge who didn't like me is obviously going to be bias and unlikely to vote in my favour, regardless of performance.

The whole concept is flawed to death and beyond stupid.

 

[Ms. Anne Thrope]

any judge who didn't like me is obviously going to be bias and unlikely to vote in my favour, regardless of performance.

So...like...all of 'em?

 

[Adam Hitler]

You're funny, I will crush you last.

Who are you again?

 

[The Scoundrel]

You're funny, I will crush you last.

In a match?

Yay! Yipee!

 

[Aylana]

so we won't be getting any "content" this week?

 

[Adam Hitler]

You're funny, I will crush you last.

In a match?

Yay! Yipee!

Like I told SSS when he decided to beat his chest recently and challenge me to one, I don't do "matches" for the reasons I've already stated, but will always respond to a callout thread made by someone who has beef with moi.

It's so much easier and convenient than arranging some stupid contest with judges, time limits and other stipulations.

 

[The Scoundrel]

but will always respond to a callout thread made by someone who has beef with moi.

It's so much easier and convenient than arranging some stupid contest with judges, time limits and other stipulations.

Strangely enough the exact concept I've been trying to run here. Nobody else seems to get it though.

so we won't be getting any "content" this week?

Well I'm gonna be here so if Caskur is then content there will be.

In fact it may be the perfect storm. I was considering using some audio for a change but last time I offered to provide audio for a forum the whole place fell apart screaming 'no professionals' whilst shitting their pants and snorting each others rectums.

This week I'm on enforced bed rest and won't be able to get to the studio so if I do use audio it'll be pretty simple stuff just using a laptop and a backing track.

Level playing fields?

 

[Ms. Anne Thrope]

You're funny, I will crush you last.

Who are you again?

Crap. I don't know anymore.
That's not an existential crisis. I actually lost my ID.

 

[Biggie Smiles]

I hope u feel better soon, Ozzy

I feel great. The drugs do work. I just can't move.

Did you have a bus pass on you when you got hit by that bus or are you too much of a grown man to have such things?

asking for a friend

 

[Ms. Anne Thrope]

asking for a friend

What friend? Name name. Imaginary don't count.

 

[The Scoundrel]

Did you have a bus pass on you when you got hit by that bus or are you too much of a grown man to have such things?

asking for a friend

If I'd had a bus pass wouldn't the bus have passed rather than hit me?

 

[Ms. Anne Thrope]

Did you have a bus pass on you when you got hit by that bus or are you too much of a grown man to have such things?

asking for a friend

If I'd had a bus pass wouldn't the bus have passed rather than hit me?

Excellent Dad joke. Top notch.

 

[The Scoundrel]

Excellent Dad joke. Top notch.

Given your nic I presume you are here for the betterment of humourism rather than multiple fag lames or political nonsense?

Bravo that man.

 

[Ms. Anne Thrope]

Excellent Dad joke. Top notch.

Given your nic I presume you are here for the betterment of humourism rather than multiple fag lames or political nonsense?

Bravo that man.

Fair assessment. Equal opportunity hater.

 

[The Scoundrel]

Fair assessment. Equal opportunity hater.

I promote the concept of egalitarianism in these forums.

Every man should have to right to be kerb stomped by me indoctrinated upon his soul.

Oh fuck. Prepare for the whining midgets with a sub 50 IQ deriding the use of words they can't find in a Dr Suess encyclopaedia.

 

[Master Pu]

Is Flea eating benzo pressies?

Nasty

your obsession with BEnzo is disturbing. I hope you find the healing you need, Poppy

Her obsession with peeps' bodily functions is even more disturbing.
Read into this as much as you may.
I think the old Cueball in Drag wears depends honestly.

 

[Ms. Anne Thrope]

Fair assessment. Equal opportunity hater.

I promote the concept of egalitarianism in these forums.

Every man should have to right to be kerb stomped by me indoctrinated upon his soul.

Oh fuck. Prepare for the whining midgets with a sub 50 IQ deriding the use of words they can't find in a Dr Suess encyclopaedia.

Excuse me, sir. Seuss was American. That's encyclopedia. Bad enough you used a word with more than twice the number of comprehensible syllables. All those extra vowels are going to give someone a stroke. Don't start thinking you got a pass on that u in humorism either.

 

[The Scoundrel]

Excuse me, sir. Seuss was American. That's encyclopedia. Bad enough you used a word with more than twice the number of comprehensible syllables. All those extra vowels are going to give someone a stroke. Don't start thinking you got a pass on that u in humorism either.

I spell in English precisely because I'm an Englishman.

I don't berate the Americans for their laziness regarding missing vowels but I would invoke capital punishment for use of the term Math!!

Fuckin thing's a plural for God's sake.

 

[Ms. Anne Thrope]

Excuse me, sir. Seuss was American. That's encyclopedia. Bad enough you used a word with more than twice the number of comprehensible syllables. All those extra vowels are going to give someone a stroke. Don't start thinking you got a pass on that u in humorism either.

I spell in English precisely because I'm an Englishman.

I don't berate the Americans for their laziness regarding missing vowels but I would invoke capital punishment for use of the term Math!!

Fuckin thing's a plural for God's sake.

There is a fine line between lazy and efficient.
Math plural? Good grief. It's as if you've never even met an American. Walking and chewing gum at the same time is plural, and there's plenty of anecdotal evidence to the level of difficulty of combining those two tasks.
Finally, let's leave the imaginary sky daddy out of it.

 

[The Prowler]

I just need a day or so heads-up.

I will have to have an exception drawn up and approved. But it should be no problem. My contract at The Furnace can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

Hey genius, why do you need a day or so if the comp runs for 5, 7, or 30 days?

Because I would want to be able to run-in on Day 1. I just need a day or two before the match starts to get things approved.

This is only if I am to be a Run-In (i.e. add content to the match thread). If I am to be a judge, I am Good To Go.

Since Run-In stips were not hammered-out, just go with "No Run-Ins". A mod can remove Run-In posts and put temporary bans on repeat offenders.

I will judge, along with the other two mentioned.

This can be considered a Judged Exhibition Match. That is a fair compromise. The match will be judged, but it will not be recorded as an Official Match on either participants records.

Start it on Monday at the time Caskur and The Scoundrel agreed to.

Good luck to both combatants. Have fun. Win or lose, I commend you both for stepping-up and giving us all some much needed entertainment.

This match should start on Monday as previously agreed.

We just need a mod who will agree to remove run-in posts and put a temporary ban (i.e. lost posting privileges until the match ends) on anyone who is stupid enough to be a repeat (i.e. more than once) offender. Do you think you can handle this, Flynn?

Caskur and Scoundrel have both been pretty good about agreeing to stips and they are not to blame for all this nonsensical drama.

Flynn is clearly way too emotional/impatient to be a good promoter and, going forward, if matches continue, needs to be demoted to a simple moderator who is tasked with nothing more than creating a match thread, removing unwanted match thread posts (under the guidance of The Promoter), and locking the match thread when the match ends.

We can discuss the role of Promoter after this Exhibition Match concludes. I would be willing to take it on and would even promise not to make it into a big farce shitshow troll. My history at The Furnace should be enough evidence for anyone to know that one thing I take very seriously is Flame Matches.