I had a dream where I died and went to the pearly gates, got on the line to enter and started sweating bullets when I didn't see anyone in uniform giving me a thumbs up through the bars lol. When it was my turn, we reviewed my life and I made a rock solid case for "bending the rules".
So far so good, who could argue with my logic, right? But then my confidence sinks when Micheal says, "well, okay.. that sounds sensible. But let's just check the video", and there I am, laughing, cracking jokes during and after, etc.
That part got so fucking awkward it invoked a sense of panic within me, instantly became like a nightmare and caused me to wake up in a sweat as I thought any moment they were gonna toss me right over the rail.
Believe me, my life would be a lot less troubled if I didn't believe any of it.
We can't choose what we believe any more than we can opt not to hate or love something. If it were possible, we'd decide to love a flavor of ice cream we can't stand just because they're sold out of what we want. No matter what, I know this shitty world is better for my having been in it.