Ask a Bartender

[Master]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

 

[The Countess]

Fuck you, asshole. How are you gonna rip my idea off?

 

[Master]

Fuck you, asshole. How are you gonna rip my idea off?

Mine posted first, you elephant looking braizer.

The accordion not working today or something?

 

[X]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

 

[Sharona]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

Got gris? know ur varietal? u probably don't even know how to 2 use a corkscrew.

 

[X]

Oh shit, it was ask a bartender ...

 

[Master]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

 

[Master]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

Got Gris? Know ur Varietal? U probably don't even know how to 2 a corkscrew.

Speak to me with that wine tongue, child. And most corkscrews are built now to "2" a corkscrew

 

[X]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

 

[The Countess]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

You look like a Brit that I adored. I could never be mean to you.

 

[Master]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

Mohawks are played out.

Just like the boards who shave the sides of their heads.

Idiots who wear mohawks are pissants who wished they were around when punk hit in the late 70's. That's McFly shit

 

[Master]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

You look like a Brit that I adored. I could never be mean to you.

Did I tell you I got in touch with him?

 

[The Countess]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

You look like a Brit that I adored. I could never be mean to you.

Did I tell you I got in touch with him?

You did not, you liar. Quit fucking with me lol

 

[Master]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

You look like a Brit that I adored. I could never be mean to you.

Did I tell you I got in touch with him?

You did not, you liar. Quit fucking with me lol

No it's true. Don't know if I can get him to stay but I know I can get him to stop by.

You really need to get on Twitter

 

[The Countess]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

You look like a Brit that I adored. I could never be mean to you.

Did I tell you I got in touch with him?

You did not, you liar. Quit fucking with me lol

No it's true. Don't know if I can get him to stay but I know I can get him to stop by.

You really need to get on Twitter

“He” is on Twitter? With Bra1n?

 

[Master]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

You look like a Brit that I adored. I could never be mean to you.

Did I tell you I got in touch with him?

You did not, you liar. Quit fucking with me lol

No it's true. Don't know if I can get him to stay but I know I can get him to stop by.

You really need to get on Twitter

“He” is on Twitter? With Bra1n?

They all are

 

[X]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

You look like a Brit that I adored. I could never be mean to you.

THAT was NOT for you my dear ... I couldn't even fathom ..

 

[X]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

Mohawks are played out.

Just like the boards who shave the sides of their heads.

Idiots who wear mohawks are pissants who wished they were around when punk hit in the late 70's. That's McFly shit

Yeah, Not as played out as the Sylvester voice thing tho :ROFL3:

 

[realgrimm]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

Ive had my mini hawk since I was 15.. lol

 

[The Countess]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

You look like a Brit that I adored. I could never be mean to you.

Did I tell you I got in touch with him?

You did not, you liar. Quit fucking with me lol

No it's true. Don't know if I can get him to stay but I know I can get him to stop by.

You really need to get on Twitter

“He” is on Twitter? With Bra1n?

They all are

Nah, don’t bring him here. I love him to death but my mental health is more important.

 

[Krieg]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

I know I can bartend. Got paid to do so.
Did you have to pay for your spillage or was that covered?

 

[Master]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

I know I can bartend. Got paid to do so.
Did you have to pay for your spillage or was that covered?

Spill tab and thank God for it.

Flair with live bottles was a bad thing

 

[Master]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

Ive had my mini hawk since I was 15.. lol

The faux hawk?

 

[Omnipotent]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

lemon, lime and bitters thanks!!!!

 

[Master]

Should I shave the mohawk back or is it a little thin these days ??

Mohawks are two years ago.

Shave the sides down but use a two or three on the back.

It's what the cool ppl do right now

fuck you buddy, I've had a mohawk since I was 30 and before that Dreadlocks .... I don't do 'cool' You and your sheepish ilk are doomed HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I do what makes me look AWESOME as I zoom by you on my bike

You really really bore me, and look at you with all that fake pompous :ROFL3:

Mohawks are played out.

Just like the boards who shave the sides of their heads.

Idiots who wear mohawks are pissants who wished they were around when punk hit in the late 70's. That's McFly shit

Yeah, Not as played out as the Sylvester voice thing tho :ROFL3:

My voice don't stop me from pulling chicks.

Mohawks will.

Just sayin

 

[Master]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

lemon, lime and bitters thanks!!!!

Bitters with coke and grenadine.

Try it

 

[Krieg]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

I know I can bartend. Got paid to do so.
Did you have to pay for your spillage or was that covered?

Spill tab and thank God for it.

Flair with live bottles was a bad thing

Ooooooh..they had a spill tab, Fancy fancy, must be nice.

I had to pay any spillage out of my tips, so no flinging bottles about..

 

[Master]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

I know I can bartend. Got paid to do so.
Did you have to pay for your spillage or was that covered?

Spill tab and thank God for it.

Flair with live bottles was a bad thing

Ooooooh..they had a spill tab, Fancy fancy, must be nice.

I had to pay any spillage out of my tips, so no flinging bottles about..

Cheap bastards.

Did that pertain to stocking, too?

 

[Krieg]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

I know I can bartend. Got paid to do so.
Did you have to pay for your spillage or was that covered?

Spill tab and thank God for it.

Flair with live bottles was a bad thing

Ooooooh..they had a spill tab, Fancy fancy, must be nice.

I had to pay any spillage out of my tips, so no flinging bottles about..

Cheap bastards.

Did that pertain to stocking, too?

No. We measure our bottles at the start of the shift, and then measure at the end of the shift. Compare the difference.
If losses don't match to revenue, you pay the difference.

 

[Master]

As many of you know, I am a bartender and a damn good one.

I have been featured in bartending magazines, was once number eight in Taste of the top ten bartenders in Chicago, have made speciality drinks placed on menus of three different bars within this city, and was lead bartender at one of the biggest clubs this city has ever spawned.

Bartending isn't easy. You are pretty much a baby sitter for a bunch of drunks and have to create magic with a shaker tin in less then a minute on top. I'm 100% positive 98% of the morons here couldn't do the things I do with the quickness or quality I was gifted with. Sure, some of you idiots could sling a draft, but I highly doubt anybody can make ten different drinks at the same time in under a couple minutes.

I can.

So, to push things in a different direction, why am I so much better at being a bartender then the rest of you?

The money can be amazing, I get laid whenever I want, and I have as much power on the floor as I do in this community. Who here really thinks they can bartend?

I know I can bartend. Got paid to do so.
Did you have to pay for your spillage or was that covered?

Spill tab and thank God for it.

Flair with live bottles was a bad thing

Ooooooh..they had a spill tab, Fancy fancy, must be nice.

I had to pay any spillage out of my tips, so no flinging bottles about..

Cheap bastards.

Did that pertain to stocking, too?

No. We measure our bottles at the start of the shift, and then measure at the end of the shift. Compare the difference.
If losses don't match to revenue, you pay the difference.

Da fuck you work? Fort knox?

That's alot of tabulation for liquor. Thankfully I never worked at a place where the bottom line was that strict.

So I'm guessing free pour was out the question there