In the last few days, forum regular and usually mild-mannered Dove was unmasked as a smug and prideful harridan, chastising all who challenge her Christian world view. Like an angered goose, she will hiss, honk, and lunge at you until you either meekly acquiesce to her demands, or you vacate the premises post-haste lest your legs be covered in large, painful bruises. Fluffed up by her erstwhile companions Biggie Stupid and the Frood, she has driven away more than one hapless individual who fell afoul of her.
All of that changed one pleasant afternoon. Although I thought it an innocent question at the time, little did I know that my second post on this messageboard would be a catalyst: transforming the peaceful Dove into a beastly grump of a Goose, it would also be the key to her eventual public plucking:
After that, her demeanor changed instantly. Her talk of always looking for opportunities to "spread genuine warmth and kindness" gave way to an unexpected defensiveness. Dove's transformation was underway. Biggie Stupid and the Frood, sensitive to her honks and hisses of disapproval, sprang into action. "Mother Knows where this is going", I said to myself, so I took the discussion to the aptly-named Meltdown board.
That's where I deftly grabbed the Angry Goose by the neck, put my knee into its side and started tearing fistful after painful fistful of feathers from it.
The Angry Goose was unperturbed that her home state of Michigan was the site of many ecological disasters caused by unfettered industry. What bothered her the most was that it was "caused by Democratic politicians". I asked what she thought about the
. Anyone in the US who is at all concerned about the environment would have something to say about it. The Angry Goose however had nothing to say. Was she not aware of it? Perhaps she was so consumed by partisan politics that she didn't want to embarrass the Ohio governor who happens to be Republican. Okay, I'll throw her a softball: did she think that Donald Trump would be president in 2028? For someone so gabby, not a squawk was heard.
Very interesting.
I happened to notice
an old thread about transphobia and started reading out of idle curiosity. What a colossal shitshow. For easily two months the wonderful and peaceable Dove forgot all about her Lord's teachings, spamming that thread with alt-right memes making fun of transgendered people. So much for taking every opportunity to spread genuine warmth and kindness. The hypocrisy was staggering. If you're going to sit there and pontificate to others about how they ought to show more empathy to those around them however, you had best be ready to so the same - even if Tucker Carlson says it's ok.
After pointing this out to the Angry Goose, she went on and on about something called "Gender Ideology".
My first reaction: "WTF is "gender ideology"? Sounds like a made-up term by a Fox news ditto-head (i.e., you)."
She had no idea what Gender Ideology meant - and of course she didn't! It's an absolutely meaningless term. It's something the talking heads on Fox news use to rile up rural folks. The smug and prideful Christian wouldn't have any of it, of course. This is my favourite part...
Smug and full of self-confidence, Goose provided a link to an excerpt from
done in 2001. It wasn't even the entire thing, however the egotistical loudmouth was convinced of its meaningfulness. That's when Mother Knew she had the blithering hypocrite. I let her dig herself deeply into her ideological trench. No way she could deny how truly full of hate she was. And when the moment was right...
Now ... what to do with all of these goose pluckings? Why, help out society's marginalised people with a comfortable winter coat made of fresh goose down.