Confessions

[SHAMPAIN]

I once pulled a girl at a nightclub after an all day drinking session but passed out on her sofa and pissed myself on said sofa... She never called me back...

 

[Jeannie]

I ripped 3 tags off of mattress' at the store today when I went for my Futon

and they said canadians were peaceful

how did u get a futon home on a bike? lol

 

[Jeannie]

Theres a real nosy old gossip a few doors from me, I can’t stand that kind of person, she even has the nerve to go to church, me and my son was stoned and ordered her a lovely bunch of Lily’s from interflora with a card from belzibub .

Chrysantiums and a card "condoleances, we're waiting for you to die old twat or "watch out"." would have been better. :Excited3::devil1:

peed as a student in a garbage can in a class unguarded ... smelled fine.. :ROFL3:

Oh yeah, well I shit in a garbage can in a laundrymat in an apartment complex cause the fuckers locked the bathroom door so residents couldnt use it lol.

that u did it in a garbagecan is more a kindness than a confession :D

 

[Blazor]

Theres a real nosy old gossip a few doors from me, I can’t stand that kind of person, she even has the nerve to go to church, me and my son was stoned and ordered her a lovely bunch of Lily’s from interflora with a card from belzibub .

Chrysantiums and a card "condoleances, we're waiting for you to die old twat or "watch out"." would have been better. :Excited3::devil1:

peed as a student in a garbage can in a class unguarded ... smelled fine.. :ROFL3:

Oh yeah, well I shit in a garbage can in a laundrymat in an apartment complex cause the fuckers locked the bathroom door so residents couldnt use it lol.

that u did it in a garbagecan is more a kindness than a confession :D

My mom made me stay at the laundrymat all day, cause fuckers would steal yo shit. I use to be able to pick the lock, but then they inserted a piece of metal so it couldnt be done.

Btw, the only thing to wipe with at the time was fabric softeners lolol.

I felt bad, but didnt give a fuck. Dont lock the door and there wont be shit in the can!

 

[Jeannie]

Theres a real nosy old gossip a few doors from me, I can’t stand that kind of person, she even has the nerve to go to church, me and my son was stoned and ordered her a lovely bunch of Lily’s from interflora with a card from belzibub .

Chrysantiums and a card "condoleances, we're waiting for you to die old twat or "watch out"." would have been better. :Excited3::devil1:

peed as a student in a garbage can in a class unguarded ... smelled fine.. :ROFL3:

Oh yeah, well I shit in a garbage can in a laundrymat in an apartment complex cause the fuckers locked the bathroom door so residents couldnt use it lol.

that u did it in a garbagecan is more a kindness than a confession :D

My mom made me stay at the laundrymat all day, cause fuckers would steal yo shit. I use to be able to pick the lock, but then they inserted a piece of metal so it couldnt be done.

Btw, the only thing to wipe with at the time was fabric softeners lolol.

I felt bad, but didnt give a fuck. Dont lock the door and there wont be shit in the can!

the shit hit the can!! :LMAO2:
did they give u a squeezably soft bum? lol

 

[Damaged Maven]

Theres a real nosy old gossip a few doors from me, I can’t stand that kind of person, she even has the nerve to go to church, me and my son was stoned and ordered her a lovely bunch of Lily’s from interflora with a card from belzibub .

Chrysantiums and a card "condoleances, we're waiting for you to die old twat or "watch out"." would have been better. :Excited3::devil1:

peed as a student in a garbage can in a class unguarded ... smelled fine.. :ROFL3:

Oh yeah, well I shit in a garbage can in a laundrymat in an apartment complex cause the fuckers locked the bathroom door so residents couldnt use it lol.

that u did it in a garbagecan is more a kindness than a confession :D

My mom made me stay at the laundrymat all day, cause fuckers would steal yo shit. I use to be able to pick the lock, but then they inserted a piece of metal so it couldnt be done.

Btw, the only thing to wipe with at the time was fabric softeners lolol.

I felt bad, but didnt give a fuck. Dont lock the door and there wont be shit in the can!

I was walking into work at the shipyard, about a half mile from the parking lot to the ship, when OH SHIT, and I mean literally. Maybe another 100 yards to the nearest shitter and mudbutt imminent. Middle of winter, three layers of clothing,and I was already walking funny. I ducked behind some steam piping and dropped trau right next to a crew's tool boxes. I suspect they took the day off.

 

[Mr. Whipple]

the shit hit the can!!
did they give u a squeezably soft bum? lol

I think we need to call the EXPERT

 

[Jeannie]

the shit hit the can!!
did they give u a squeezably soft bum? lol

I think we need to call the EXPERT

 

[Blazor]

Theres a real nosy old gossip a few doors from me, I can’t stand that kind of person, she even has the nerve to go to church, me and my son was stoned and ordered her a lovely bunch of Lily’s from interflora with a card from belzibub .

Chrysantiums and a card "condoleances, we're waiting for you to die old twat or "watch out"." would have been better. :Excited3::devil1:

peed as a student in a garbage can in a class unguarded ... smelled fine.. :ROFL3:

Oh yeah, well I shit in a garbage can in a laundrymat in an apartment complex cause the fuckers locked the bathroom door so residents couldnt use it lol.

that u did it in a garbagecan is more a kindness than a confession :D

My mom made me stay at the laundrymat all day, cause fuckers would steal yo shit. I use to be able to pick the lock, but then they inserted a piece of metal so it couldnt be done.

Btw, the only thing to wipe with at the time was fabric softeners lolol.

I felt bad, but didnt give a fuck. Dont lock the door and there wont be shit in the can!

the shit hit the can!! :LMAO2:
did they give u a squeezably soft bum? lol

Believe it or not, the new ones are harsher, ya have to use the used ones, those are softer lol.... and thin! Ya have to double up a lil lol.

The shit hit the can! Another bumper sticker idea lol. Have to do it quick before @UncleDiLF tries to trademark it lol.

 

[rigor79]

around 2014 i had heavy sleeping and eventually drinking+benzo problems, something about a sting and probe operation about my past involving pple around laden bin i apparently knew ... like dutch intelligence and other ruining my life over information from islam .. now away from the coma and abuse of substances (iv'ing them, snorting and swallowing them..) there was a day i put on my pants, swiftly went to the store with pple around me and even at the register .. to come home and take off my pants .. to see that at the back and end of my pants .. there was a rather odd stain :ROFL3: seems it was a symptom of heavy benzodiapine abuse and alcohol .. i'll never forget that day .. happened once but not a second time .. the shame ! :Grin3:

​

 

[rigor79]

I once pulled a girl at a nightclub after an all day drinking session but passed out on her sofa and pissed myself on said sofa... She never called me back...

yeah, women hate it when males fall asleep on the couch. :ROFL3:

 

[rigor79]

Theres a real nosy old gossip a few doors from me, I can’t stand that kind of person, she even has the nerve to go to church, me and my son was stoned and ordered her a lovely bunch of Lily’s from interflora with a card from belzibub .

Chrysantiums and a card "condoleances, we're waiting for you to die old twat or "watch out"." would have been better. :Excited3::devil1:

peed as a student in a garbage can in a class unguarded ... smelled fine.. :ROFL3:

Oh yeah, well I shit in a garbage can in a laundrymat in an apartment complex cause the fuckers locked the bathroom door so residents couldnt use it lol.

that u did it in a garbagecan is more a kindness than a confession :D

My mom made me stay at the laundrymat all day, cause fuckers would steal yo shit. I use to be able to pick the lock, but then they inserted a piece of metal so it couldnt be done.

Btw, the only thing to wipe with at the time was fabric softeners lolol.

I felt bad, but didnt give a fuck. Dont lock the door and there wont be shit in the can!

the shit hit the can!! :LMAO2:
did they give u a squeezably soft bum? lol

lol, yeah .. when shit hits the can ... you better run and hide .. :)

 

[rigor79]

i hit a raccoon last night :/

:ROFL3::LOL4::Lies::ROFL3:​

 

[Blazor]

I once pulled a girl at a nightclub after an all day drinking session but passed out on her sofa and pissed myself on said sofa... She never called me back...

yeah, women hate it when males fall asleep on the couch. :ROFL3:

Yeah, but they do it all the time and get annoyed if you wake them lol. I swear she reminds me of one of those narcoleptic sheep once Netflix comes on lol.

 

[Jeannie]

i hit a raccoon last night :/

:ROFL3::LOL4::Lies::ROFL3:​

they r determined little bastards too lol

 

[rigor79]

i hit a raccoon last night :/

:ROFL3::LOL4::Lies::ROFL3:​

they r determined little bastards too lol

lol they're sweet dipshits .. i love em those critters sweet but bandits. :D
*waving at jeannie.. wub you missus*

 

[Jeannie]

i hit a raccoon last night :/

:ROFL3::LOL4::Lies::ROFL3:​

they r determined little bastards too lol

lol they're sweet dipshits .. i love em those critters sweet but bandits. :D
*waving at jeannie.. wub you missus*

they r so smart they learned how 2 open my raccoon proof garbage cans lol

 

[rigor79]

I once pulled a girl at a nightclub after an all day drinking session but passed out on her sofa and pissed myself on said sofa... She never called me back...

yeah, women hate it when males fall asleep on the couch. :ROFL3:

Yeah, but they do it all the time and get annoyed if you wake them lol. I swear she reminds me of one of those narcoleptic sheep once Netflix comes on lol.

and so a new name for netflixers was created and on the seventh day he decided a resting day .. :SmokeBreak2::devil1:

 

[rigor79]

i hit a raccoon last night :/

:ROFL3::LOL4::Lies::ROFL3:​

they r determined little bastards too lol

lol they're sweet dipshits .. i love em those critters sweet but bandits. :D
*waving at jeannie.. wub you missus*

they r so smart they learned how 2 open my raccoon proof garbage cans lol

if it had been legal in belgium, i would keep one or a fox .. maybe someday if i f off to the states as refugee .. i'll see.

 

[TheHaze]

i hit a raccoon last night :/

​

they r determined little bastards too lol

 

[rigor79]

 

[Swamp-Duck]

A neighbor had complaints about her dog barking, don’t bother me it’s a dog they bark get over it, but late yesterday evening I found out why, it was my dog in the spare bedroom at the back, standing up in the window , not moving or making a sound, just doing this death staring thing, the poor little dog was going nuts, lol I don’t do apologies and I’m not owning up, I’ll just keep that door shut from now on.

 

[Swamp-Duck]

9 45am, it’s very quiet lmfao....

 

[rigor79]

give her the finger, stand still and keep staring in her eyes .. don't say a word .. ;)
one of these days you walk in or out with an axe in your hands, giving her the same look and stand still without saying a word .. lol .. :Perfecto:

the empty eye stare, shall i hurt you or shall i not .. but i look at you and no one else .. make yourself upset at her .. give her some horror psychology or bark when you walk past her ..

 

[rigor79]

 

[Jeannie]

i used a #4 pencil instead of a #2 when i filled in the bubbles of an important application

 

[X]

I couldn't have cARED LESS ABOUT THAT LAST POST ...is that normal

 

[Jeannie]

I couldn't have cARED LESS ABOUT THAT LAST POST ...is that normal

u might think different if u ever applied for a job lol

 

[X]

people see my height and good looks and sharp personality and throw jobs at me ..but I'm old and not greedy anymoar blahblahblah ..

wait are you hitting on me ????

... I knew it !! That's why all the attention the last 36 hours ...

 

[Jeannie]

yea u got me, im doing the wash and thinking about u