A giant hippocrite... and I mean that quite literally.
She claims I scam or use people for material gain. To be "providers". I haven't had a provider since I was 17 years old. In fact i started my first job at 14. I was working at A&W in the mall and at a horse farm. I did that and helped with bills and bought all my own clothes and stuff. My grandmother was raising me on her pension.
I paid for my own college. Got a degree I don't even use (ECD) but I taught pre school for years.
I paid off my grandma's car and my mother wrecked it drunk driving. I can't even tell you how many times I've had to clean up her messes and pay her bills.
The most I ever got put of a marriage was a second income that comes with a partner. It was always rare I wasn't working. The past few years showed me I depended on the wrong guy. Lesson learned.
But she tries to make me out to be this materialistic person and some super whore but excuses Murd lying and cheating with multiple men because she had "something to lose"(I'm guessing material something right?) Which says Oak and Murd have a price on character. If there is material gain in the balance it's okay....for MURD... to lie and cheat. But I'm not allowed to seek to gain anything out of MY marriage and my honesty and how I left is what makes me a whore for messing with just ONE other guy.
It makes no sense. I'd have more respect for her and take her more seriously if she just admitted she can't stand me because my opinions piss her off and she can't counter them rationally. So she has to attack me as a person. She just makes herself out to be a hypocrite.
I've honestly never had so much to lose in a relationship before this one. This man has been my best friend for so long I wouldn't even know who I am without him. I really cannot imagine a day where hearing his voice wouldn't be possible. Id fucking die of sorrow. So there is some stress here for me I'm working through lol. This HAS to be the one that lasts because I really do not want to live without him. I'd be losing a good part of myself.
I somehow don't think MY idea of "something to lose" aligns with her meaning of "something to lose" though and I wouldn't risk anything that important to me on multiple strange dicks....so there is that. I'm a big whore though.