Is Dovey Pregnant?

OP
OP

Blandscape

Factory Bastard
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Scotland
Next up the Yanks will be compelled to use the Yorkshire Rhythm method, it's like da Catholic Rhythm method where you spunk on their face, or wipe yourself on yer own string simmit.

Why would that need to be done? We have tons of readily available birth control and contraceptives. We even have Plan B emergency contraceptives available everywhere including for free at every ER and health dept.


So you fink the states will stop at RW? If conception is life, then life must be protected at all costs. Every sperm is sacred. Why not ban rubbers, or any other form of contraception, doesn't the baby Jesus belie that you are just a piece of human vermin?
 
OP
OP

Blandscape

Factory Bastard
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Scotland
A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet.

Yorki: Vitnery. Me cat's bin run ower.

Vet: Is it a Tom?

Yorki: Nah a brawt it wimme.

Ca Ching.
tumblr_mji42eijPx1s7juhuo1_250.gif

You have to do it in a Yorkshire accent. When you do that 'Is it a Tom' becomes 'Is it at home'

Geddit?

Fuck I hate explaining jokes.


I made my joke up on the hoof, and it was still better than yours you scouse cunt.
 

The Scoundrel

Total Twat
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Happy Valley
I made my joke up on the hoof, and it was still better than yours you scouse cunt.

You can fuck off you Caledonian cunt.

That joke has history. A good freind of mine called Tim was off his face at a party and was going round telling the joke incessantly.

We picked the cunt up, threw him over a wall and buried him in a hole up to his neck for 4 hours.

It was his house lol
 
OP
OP

Blandscape

Factory Bastard
Messages
9,767
Location
Scotland
I made my joke up on the hoof, and it was still better than yours you scouse cunt.

You can fuck off you Caledonian cunt.

That joke has history. A good freind of mine called Tim was off his face at a party and was going round telling the joke incessantly.

We picked the cunt up, threw him over a wall and buried him in a hole up to his neck for 4 hours.

It was his house lol


So you just stayed in a Premier Inn on the M6 then?
 
OP
OP

Blandscape

Factory Bastard
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9,767
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So you just stayed in a Premier Inn on the M6 then?

Don't knock Premier Inn. They're good value and comfortable.

That's if you like to sleep in a nightmare vision of a conformist dystopian society.


I have a nightmare where I get soggy chips, and a carafe of the finest gut rot, two packets of pork scratchings and an abortion fur my girlfriend at the end of the night on the M6.
 

The Scoundrel

Total Twat
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3,347
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Happy Valley
I have a nightmare where I get soggy chips, and a carafe of the finest gut rot, two packets of pork scratchings and an abortion fur my girlfriend at the end of the night on the M6.

The Northern Abortion Clinic has moved onto that strange bit of land on the M62. You know the one. The farmer wouldn't sell up so they built the motorway through the middle of his land. He now has to travel through tunnels to get to his fields. You couldn't make it up. Yorkshire cunts.
 
OP
OP

Blandscape

Factory Bastard
Messages
9,767
Location
Scotland
I have a nightmare where I get soggy chips, and a carafe of the finest gut rot, two packets of pork scratchings and an abortion fur my girlfriend at the end of the night on the M6.

The Northern Abortion Clinic has moved onto that strange bit of land on the M62. You know the one. The farmer wouldn't sell up so they built the motorway through the middle of his land. He now has to travel through tunnels to get to his fields. You couldn't make it up. Yorkshire cunts.


I owned a business in Manchester city centre, and did work for the Bradford Bulls. That compelled me to drive across da M62, and I did indeed see that farmer not giving a fuck. However never quite understood where hope surrendered to capitalism.
 
OP
OP

Blandscape

Factory Bastard
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Location
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You are welcome in my moved thread, but you really need to have an opinion other than an opinion about me to participate.