feminism

[Wazzzup]

Why can’t we hate men?

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Suzanna Danuta Walters, a professor of sociology and director of the Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies Program at Northeastern University, is the editor of the gender studies journal Signs.

It’s not that Eric Schneiderman (the now-former New York attorney general accused of abuse by multiple women) pushed me over the edge. My edge has been crossed for a long time, before President Trump, before Harvey Weinstein, before “mansplaining” and “incels.” Before live-streaming sexual assaults and red pill men’s groups and rape camps as a tool of war and the deadening banality of male prerogative.

Seen in this indisputably true context, it seems logical to hate men. I can’t lie, I’ve always had a soft spot for the radical feminist smackdown, for naming the problem in no uncertain terms. I’ve rankled at the “but we don’t hate men” protestations of generations of would-be feminists and found the “men are not the problem, this system is” obfuscation too precious by half.

But, of course, the criticisms of this blanket condemnation of men — from transnational feminists who decry such glib universalism to U.S. women of color who demand an intersectional perspective — are mostly on the mark. These critics rightly insist on an analysis of male power as institutional, not narrowly personal or individual or biologically based in male bodies. Growing movements to challenge a masculinity built on domination and violence and to engage boys and men in feminism are both gratifying and necessary. Please continue.

But this recognition of the complexity of male domination (how different it can be in different parts of the world, how racism shapes it) should not — must not — mean we forget some universal facts.

Pretty much everywhere in the world, this is true: Women experience sexual violence, and the threat of that violence permeates our choices big and small. In addition, male violence is not restricted to intimate-partner attacks or sexual assault but plagues us in the form of terrorism and mass gun violence. Women are underrepresented in higher-wage jobs, local and federal government, business, educational leadership, etc.; wage inequality continues to permeate every economy and almost every industry; women continue to provide far higher rates of unpaid labor in the home (e.g., child care, elder care, care for disabled individuals, housework and food provision); women have less access to education, particularly at the higher levels; women have lower rates of property ownership.

The list goes on. It varies by country, but these global realities — of women’s economic, political, social and sexual vulnerabilities — are, well, real. Indeed, the nations in which these inequities have been radically minimized (e.g., Iceland) are those in which deliberate effort has been made to both own up to gender disparities and to address them directly and concretely.

So, in this moment, here in the land of legislatively legitimated toxic masculinity, is it really so illogical to hate men? For all the power of #MeToo and #TimesUp and the women’s marches, only a relatively few men have been called to task, and I’ve yet to see a mass wave of prosecutions or even serious recognition of wrongdoing. On the contrary, cries of “witch hunt” and the plotted resurrection of celebrity offenders came quick on the heels of the outcry over endemic sexual harassment and violence. But we’re not supposed to hate them because . . . #NotAllMen. I love Michelle Obama as much as the next woman, but when they have gone low for all of human history, maybe it’s time for us to go all Thelma and Louise and Foxy Brown on their collective butts.

The world has little place for feminist anger. Women are supposed to support, not condemn, offer succor not dismissal. We’re supposed to feel more empathy for your fear of being called a harasser than we are for the women harassed. We are told he’s with us and #NotHim. But, truly, if he were with us, wouldn’t this all have ended a long time ago? If he really were with us, wouldn’t he reckon that one good way to change structural violence and inequity would be to refuse the power that comes with it?

So men, if you really are #WithUs and would like us to not hate you for all the millennia of woe you have produced and benefited from, start with this: Lean out so we can actually just stand up without being beaten down. Pledge to vote for feminist women only. Don’t run for office. Don’t be in charge of anything. Step away from the power. We got this. And please know that your crocodile tears won’t be wiped away by us anymore. We have every right to hate you. You have done us wrong. #BecausePatriarchy. It is long past time to play hard for Team Feminism. And win.

 

[Sharona]

How many of these articles does it take until you men in here start working on your shit?

Aren't you tired of hearing and reading about it? Maybe Smith and Wesson do a better job? See other topic. at least stop considering yourself revolutionaries. As long as some men use physical force to subjugate females, all men need not. The knowledge that some men do suffices to threaten all women. He can beat or kill the woman he claims to love; he can rape women…he can sexually molest his daughters… THE VAST MAJORITY OF MEN IN THE WORLD DO ONE OR MORE OF THE ABOVE.

 

[IRISH KAM]

Females are all Mad as Fuck .

All they want is money and Cock .

 

[Gyroscope]

Saying "Teach men not to rape" is kinda like saying "Teach black people not to murder".

 

[realgrimm]

I wonder what the margin of error is for this RAPE class and if little improvement is still celebrated, I'm thinking over %50 re-offend on grad night

 

[Wazzzup]

Saying "Teach men not to rape" is kinda like saying "Teach black people not to murder".

In other words it's impossibleThrill

 

[Frood]

How many of these articles does it take until you men in here start working on your shit?

Aren't you tired of hearing and reading about it? Maybe Smith and Wesson do a better job? See other topic. at least stop considering yourself revolutionaries. As long as some men use physical force to subjugate females, all men need not. The knowledge that some men do suffices to threaten all women. He can beat or kill the woman he claims to love; he can rape women…he can sexually molest his daughters… THE VAST MAJORITY OF MEN IN THE WORLD DO ONE OR MORE OF THE ABOVE.

Articles from bat shit crazy feminists are a dime a dozen.

 

[skinofevil]

How many of these articles does it take until you men in here start working on your shit?

Aren't you tired of hearing and reading about it? Maybe Smith and Wesson do a better job? See other topic. at least stop considering yourself revolutionaries. As long as some men use physical force to subjugate females, all men need not. The knowledge that some men do suffices to threaten all women. He can beat or kill the woman he claims to love; he can rape women…he can sexually molest his daughters… THE VAST MAJORITY OF MEN IN THE WORLD DO ONE OR MORE OF THE ABOVE.

 

[Mona]

Extreme feminism does nothing but fuel the fire of antagonism between the sexes. I am teaching my children to be respectful, but not to accept being treated disrespectfully. It's that simple. Treat others with the same consideration and respect as you'd want in return, regardless of gender, race, or religious beliefs or lack thereof. But you don't have to accept being treated in a way that is less than what you would give. Walk away from people who don't rise to the standards you deserve, and don't look back.

 

[Lioness]

Extreme feminism does nothing but fuel the fire of antagonism between the sexes. I am teaching my children to be respectful, but not to accept being treated disrespectfully. It's that simple. Treat others with the same consideration and respect as you'd want in return, regardless of gender, race, or religious beliefs or lack thereof.

I wouldn't want to be a man trying to date these days. I've got some co-workers and their wives (20 - 30's) who are on facebook. It's crazy the crap they post. One minute the woman is posting crap about how she is a strong bitch who can handle anything a man can and in the same damn breath turns around and posts that she needs attention from her man 24/7 while he treats her like a princess. It's like they are on a bi-polar trip constantly.

 

[skinofevil]

That's because they want to own their men, not be equal to them.

 

[Mona]

Oh god, 24/7 attention would have me running for the hills. I am a princess... but I don't need a man to treat me like one, I can do that for myself.

I concentrate strongly on teaching my boys boundaries and consent. More for their protection than any girls they may meet. I want them to understand that they need specific consent at all times, or they're in danger of being charged with a sex crime. I have also drummed into them that sex before the legal age and sending or receiving nudes can have them charged with child pornography.

 

[skinofevil]

Best policy is to teach boys that girls are out to screw them over and to just stick to hookers.

 

[Mona]

That's because they want to own their men, not be equal to them.

That works both ways. There's a lot of guys who want to "own" their girlfriend or wife, and control who they see, what they wear, where they go, and every other aspect of their lives, as well. I'm of the opinion that if you need another person to "complete you" then you'll never be happy, because you need to be a whole person in your own right before you can merge into a partnership with someone else. And if you can't trust your partner to do their own thing without you, then you're not emotionally stable enough for a relationship, either because previous experience has damaged you and you need to heal, or because you are incapable of being trustworthy, so therefore are unable to believe that anyone else could be. Either way, it doesn't auger well for a relationship.

 

[Lioness]

That's because they want to own their men, not be equal to them.

Great point.

Oh god, 24/7 attention would have me running for the hills. I am a princess... but I don't need a man to treat me like one, I can do that for myself.

I concentrate strongly on teaching my boys boundaries and consent. More for their protection than any girls they may meet. I want them to understand that they need specific consent at all times, or they're in danger of being charged with a sex crime. I have also drummed into them that sex before the legal age and sending or receiving nudes can have them charged with child pornography.

Yeah, and there's that crap too! Nope, I certainly sympathize with men these days.

 

[Mona]

Best policy is to teach boys that girls are out to screw them over and to just stick to hookers.

There are men that screw women over too. It's not exclusively the domain of the female. In my experience and observations, the more rational and sane partner tends to be the one who gets screwed over, simply because they can't conceive of doing the things that the person screwing them over will do without blinking.

 

[Lioness]

Best policy is to teach boys that girls are out to screw them over and to just stick to hookers.

There are men that screw women over too. It's not exclusively the domain of the female. In my experience and observations, the more rational and sane partner tends to be the one who gets screwed over, simply because they can't conceive of doing the things that the person screwing them over will do without blinking.

True. People are just cruel to each other all around.

 

[skinofevil]

Best policy is to teach boys that girls are out to screw them over and to just stick to hookers.

There are men that screw women over too. It's not exclusively the domain of the female.

That's certainly true; but the legal system and court of public opinion aren't nearly so well weaponized against women as they are against men. Best for men not even to bother with the gamble that relationships have become. The deck is so absurdly stacked against the male, and the stakes so extreme, that it's no longer worthwhile to sit down at the table.

 

[Mona]

That's certainly true; but the legal system and court of public opinion aren't nearly so well weaponized against women as they are against men. Best for men not even to bother with the gamble that relationships have become. The deck is so absurdly stacked against the male, and the stakes so extreme, that it's no longer worthwhile to sit down at the table.

Depends where you live. They certainly are leaning heavily towards the man/father in Australia. I know a lot of women who've been screwed over by our legal system in cases of child custody, and divorce. Because they are so inclined towards out of court settlements that women are pressured into accepting agreements that aren't in anyone's interest but the man. I personally, was asked in mediation to give my best case scenario and worst case scenario of what I wanted out of the agreement, they took worst case and negotiated backwards from there.

In child cases, the parent who cares the least about hurting the children, usually ends up the victor, because they're prepared to put the kids through hell to get what they want, and the other parent often concedes to prevent the trauma to the children.

 

[IRISH KAM]

Since feminism kicked in , single parent numbers went thru the roof .

Yet more liberal left madness .

 

[Mona]

Since feminism kicked in , single parent numbers went thru the roof .

Yet more liberal left madness .

This is something that I won't agree is necessarily a bad thing. Not all nuclear relationships are viable, and not all marriages break down over feminist views. All this is a result of women having the right to walk away from from being abused, without being punished for it. It's no longer necessary to remain in a toxic relationship, where emotional, physical, mental or financial abuse is occurring, simply because the only way to leave is to give up your children. Children are better off with two happy separated parents than in a household with a toxic relationship modelling this as normality for them.

I was raised in a two parent household by parents who love and respect one another, I tried to make my marriage work, and my parents were disappointed in me for trying to repair a broken marriage after my husband left me while pregnant to have a fling with a family friend. I did all that I could to make the marriage work, he chose not to put in any effort, then complained that things weren't the way he thought they should be. So I told him that I can't fix a marriage that he didn't want to work and bid him good-bye. The reason there are so many single parent families is because women aren't prepared to mother a man child on top of raising their children. It's less work to do it on your own than it is to have an unequal partnership, where one person takes responsibility and the other does as they please. (And that's not gender stereotypical, it can be either gender that slots into either role).

I have a certain base requirement in a man for a relationship... honesty, trust, communication, and respect. If ANY of those things are missing from the relationship, I don't consider it a viable relationship. And I won't tolerate a second rate relationship simply so as to not be alone. I quite like my own company and prefer to be in it, without the stress of someone who isn't worth the drama being a part of it.

 

[IRISH KAM]

Since feminism kicked in , single parent numbers went thru the roof .

Yet more liberal left madness .

This is something that I won't agree is necessarily a bad thing. Not all nuclear relationships are viable, and not all marriages break down over feminist views. All this is a result of women having the right to walk away from from being abused, without being punished for it. It's no longer necessary to remain in a toxic relationship, where emotional, physical, mental or financial abuse is occurring, simply because the only way to leave is to give up your children. Children are better off with two happy separated parents than in a household with a toxic relationship modelling this as normality for them.

I was raised in a two parent household by parents who love and respect one another, I tried to make my marriage work, and my parents were disappointed in me for trying to repair a broken marriage after my husband left me while pregnant to have a fling with a family friend. I did all that I could to make the marriage work, he chose not to put in any effort, then complained that things weren't the way he thought they should be. So I told him that I can't fix a marriage that he didn't want to work and bid him good-bye. The reason there are so many single parent families is because women aren't prepared to mother a man child on top of raising their children. It's less work to do it on your own than it is to have an unequal partnership, where one person takes responsibility and the other does as they please. (And that's not gender stereotypical, it can be either gender that slots into either role).

I have a certain base requirement in a man for a relationship... honesty, trust, communication, and respect. If ANY of those things are missing from the relationship, I don't consider it a viable relationship. And I won't tolerate a second rate relationship simply so as to not be alone. I quite like my own company and prefer to be in it, without the stress of someone who isn't worth the drama being a part of it.

Sup MONA , long time no speak .

ya reply is standard Wimmins lib propaganda , that blames the man for all your feminine short comings .

 

[Mona]

I'm good thanks Kam. And you clearly didn't read my entire post, as I specifically pointed out that blame isn't gender based. I'd like to know what you think my feminine shortcomings are that made me a divorcee. I didn't choose to end my marriage, but it does take TWO committed parties to make a marriage work. I don't blame him for leaving, if he's happier with someone else, then good luck to him, I'd rather that he left to find happiness rather than staying with me and making us both miserable. I was simply stating that the laws are different in every country and the laws here, as has been my experience, definitely do not pander to women. In fact, statistically speaking, it's proven that after a divorce more women are put into precarious financial situations than men, because the male usually takes the higher earning capacity with him, and leaves the woman with child care, and having to find work that revolves around the care of their children. (Note, I said USUALLY, now always). In Australia, we don't have alimony. We have child support, which is worked out using a complex formula that takes both parent's earnings, percentage of care, and a cost per child, and then sets an amount that they deem fair. Sometimes it is in the woman's favour, sometimes the man's, but it's generally meant to be for the benefit of the child/ren. I have a friend who left her abusive husband after 12 years, during which she was the only one who held down a job for any length of time, in between birthing three children, and even though she had all the kids living with her, and all the costs associated with them, and he had weekend visit every fortnight, SHE had to pay him child support, because she actually worked, and he refused to.

 

[IRISH KAM]

MONA dont judge every man on ya own life experiences .

Ive been a single parent for nearly a decade .
Not all men are deadbeats .

 

[Mona]

Best policy is to teach boys that girls are out to screw them over and to just stick to hookers.

There are men that screw women over too. It's not exclusively the domain of the female. In my experience and observations, the more rational and sane partner tends to be the one who gets screwed over, simply because they can't conceive of doing the things that the person screwing them over will do without blinking.

In child cases, the parent who cares the least about hurting the children, usually ends up the victor, because they're prepared to put the kids through hell to get what they want, and the other parent often concedes to prevent the trauma to the children.

MONA dont judge every man on ya own life experiences .

Ive been a single parent for nearly a decade .
Not all men are deadbeats .

If you had actually read my posts properly, you'd realise that's exactly what I was saying. It's not always women, and it's not always men. It's usually the most selfish person in the equation. At no point have I said that all men are deadbeats.

When talking about abusive relationships and women getting out from under a controlling husband now being acceptable, I was referencing social history, not my own personal life. Statistically, it is proven that OVERALL women generally are worse off after divorce than men. Not all women, just on average, it works out that way.

Stop projecting your women hating ways onto me and assuming that I hate men. I don't. I couldn't raise five boys effectively if I hated men. Some of my best friends are male. And I have plenty of examples of quality supportive relationships around me, and I'm very happy for those that achieve them. I simply don't have the energy to wade through the bullshit to find the speck of gold, myself. Choosing not to have a relationship doesn't equate to hating men, it simply means that I have other priorities... my children, my health, my work and my friends... there's no room at this time for anyone else, especially not anyone who would require any reasonable amount of effort or attention.

 

[Frood]

I think I might have a dozen children or more. All those letters keep coming to my PO Box but I never open them... if the women didn't want babies, they should have dressed more modestly and not caught my eye...

 

[skinofevil]

How many of these articles does it take until you men in here start working on your shit?

It is perhaps ironic, but the more of these articles we see, the firmer the resolve of even good men becomes to not "work on our shit."

If women feel they're oppressed, they ought to recall that it was men who oppressed them -- and that the more shit like this we see, the more ready, able, and yes, willing we are to do it again.

So keep it up, bitches. See what you get. Thrill

 

[Sharona]

So men not marrying?
How deep does "the problem" go?

 

[skinofevil]

So men not marrying?
How deep does "the problem" go?

Men aren't marrying because marriage has been turned into a misandrist racket. Men aren't marrying you, specifically, because you look like a librarian. And not of the "naughty librarian" variety, either.

 

[Frood]

I Woo then fuck the bitches and leave them. Nothing but slits to me.