*****VERY LONG RANT POST ALERT*****ACTUAL STORY TIME**** Why Murdy dropping in on Biggie and sexually assaulting him is NOT comparable to when I dropped in on Biggie. Juicy stuff Blazor likes :D
~ I actually wrote most of this last night and didnt post it yet until now lol
Okay so this Youtuber is a nut job.
BUT this video she nails it and it just made me think of how Murdy doesnt really regard things like consent.
The whole idea that men are willing to fuck any hole made available to them is garbage. And it's so disrespectful to a mans humanity - JUST like it is disrespectful to a womans humanity - to not regard consent.
Like how he didnt get the chance to say "no" to a visit. When that pop in guest who just kinda showed up is on her very last night and is leaving the next day and she comes on super strong and the man doesnt know how much drama would be involved in a rejection, and he simply doesnt feel mentally or emotionally SAFE enough to say no. So he DOES it because it's easier.
This same over grown spoiled child who did an ambush visit on a man who was going through a lot of shit at the time....so he wouldnt be able to say no...who didn't respect his sexual boundaries and body, actually gave me shit on the public board for when I drove to NY to drop in on Big myself and has called ME a psycho.
And her flying to NY and popping in on Biggie is NOT the same or even comparable to when I DROVE to NY to talk to him. So here is now MY side of this. First being....it was NOT our first meeting. I had already met him. Already slept with him (more than once. He stayed for a few days), he met my family and i had spoken to his a handful of times. Had we never MET....i definitely would NOT have gone there. But we DID and not just that....we were intimate.
And we had bonded (so I believed) and talked about a future and blending families and i was completely in love with him. And one day...he just disappeared. Wasnt on the forums. Wasnt answering emails. Wasnt taking my calls. I was incredibly hurt, angry and confused. We went from daily contact to nothing. He completely ghosted me.
And yea people have the right to ghost. It sucks but it is what it is. If you are gonna ghost someone....do it EARLY on. Dont wait after a year and meeting family members and sleeping together after a person has devoted themselves to you. Long distance relationships are hard and awful as it is....I honestly hated it.
So I cried a lot for a few weeks. Tried to get my mind off it and move on. And then as I listened to my mother yammering on about her shitty marriage and my terrible step father.....I decided being ghosted wasnt gonna work for me. If i was gonna be heart broken i wanted to know WHY. I wanted him to TELL me why. And I was completely ready to hear whatever he had to say and regardless of how hurtful it was going to be....it was better than never knowing. Right? And nope i dont agree that sometimes it's better to not know. Believe me i weighed every single scenario and all the possible reasons. I was ready to hear it.
So that night I got in the car and drove there. I waited until the morning when I knew he would be at work for a few reason. First being if he knew I was at his house and he still felt strongly enough about avoiding me.....he could have. And I would have respected it. And also because I knew his sons would be at school and I didnt want to do this with his children present and violate family boundaries. Yes I know driving there after he ghosted me was bold. That I could have came off as a complete psychopath. But I didnt want to violate him or his family so I was mindful of the circumstances. You CAN be bold without being pushy or forceful.
I mean the worst he could do is tell me to leave and he was already ghosting me and I wanted to try before giving up. And if he thought I was unhinged or a psycho....well. Then he was gonna see me as a psycho and feel he dodged a bullet. At least I would know that I tried get it to end on a better note than it was. I don't think this is unreasonable.
No I did not expect him to leave work and come immediately. He knew I was there. If he agreed to talk i would have waited....gone and did something else or hung out with his parents. Or whatever he would have been comfortable with.
He sounded terrified on the phone. Like he was expecting some angry psycho female outburst with screaming and crying or some similar nutty shit. I told him I just wanted to talk. And when he heard my tone he warmed up a lot.
So he actually left work and came home and we went and talked. And as odd as this is....I barely remember most of what we talked about. I know the reason he spooked. He told me why...and thats gonna stay private. It was valid and reasonable. And by the end of the convo, he wanted to resume seeing me. Which I was NOT expecting. I dont know what changed his mind....but it changed. He was very impressed with my demeanor and how I told him I just wanted to talk and that's exactly what we did. He relaxed significantly as we talked. I wasnt crying, I wasnt laying on any heavy emotions, i wasnt angry....yeah the situation hurt but I wasnt there to do harm I just did NOT want to let it end like that. It's a degrading way to dump someone and I feel I deserve better. Like as a human being.
WHAT is psycho or pushy about this exactly?
And from there, I hung out a bit more with his parents and then I went to a HOTEL to sleep. I did NOT stay in his house. And since I had not met his sons yet....my ass cleared outta there before they got home. It's not that I didnt WnT to meet them. I wanted THAT completely up to HIM. Also....if/when we got to the point of meshing our children, I wanted HIM to have that moment of introducing his sons to me. It means more when he makes the intentional choice and wants to introduce his sons to me. So I didnt want that any other way.
(And I met them a few months later and it was perfect. He arranged the perfect circumstances. We met up at an indoor water park with all our kids. By the end of the weekend the boys were calling my daughters their sisters ♡)
When I was in NY that first time, I stayed in a hotel and I left him alone that night. I didnt pressure him to come see me. He had promised his sons...who were little still.
..to take them to a movie and that's something he always did with them every week.
The next day before I left to go back to MI....his parents had asked me to please stop back by before i left and with his blessing i went and spent the day with them. And I adore Biggies parents. I got along very well with his parents. They were warm and welcoming to me and my children and his parents made an active effort to get to know MY kids. His mother spent time with my daughters. They were awesome.
So what parts of this are psycho or pushy or unhinged?
So yeah I DID drive to NY to have a talk with Biggie about why....after a year of bonding and meeting eachother and meeting families and having sex....he decided the best course of action was to ghost.
HE doesnt look back on that in an unpleasant manner, though. HE isnt feeling that he HAD to do something to appease me or that he was cornered or pressured. In fact he decided to resume our relationship. Totally his choice because again....I was not expecting.
I think i must have been pretty gotdamn adorable. I was in a grey track suit, giant sunglasses and no make up and my super long hair down. So he may have fallen victim to my overwhelmingly attractive female charms and realized for a minute he cannot live with out me. It happens. Some would say I did force my way into his "marriage bed".
And importantly as i type this out, i have NO concerns about him reading any of this or commenting on it. HE is okay with what happened with me going there. HE will say the same things I'm saying. And I also have his CONSENT to talk about it.
I will never be ashamed or embarrassed of putting myself out there for someone who mattered to me. I wasnt desperate. I wasnt out to manipulate .....I wasnt even out to get laid. All I wanted was to understand why he chose cut things off that way and try to have it end in a better way where we could even preserve a friendship. I felt i deserved an explanation. And he still had the space and autonomy to say no and i would have left. I would have lived and survived I'm sure.
I took the initiative but he was still the lead. I didnt try to disempower or disrespect him or manipulate him into doing I wanted him to do.
WHO would even WANT it like that? Dont you guys all want to be with someone who truly wants and desires you.....who isnt acting out of pressure and going along with things because they feel bad? Why would anyone take less than that? Setting aside the sexual assault factor.....because that is exactly what she did....and just on a personal level, isnt it a fucking TURN OFF if you know the person you are with had to be manipulated and isnt even interested? And cant even keep a BONER?
I dont care how big of a crush I have on a male. I could be full blown in love out of my mind. I still couldnt bring myself to have a man touching and being inside my body who was anything less than totally thrilled to be there. Anything else would feel degrading and sick. I wouldnt even do that to my own husband if I knew he didnt feel like it and wasnt into it. I'd just masturbate in the shower and go to bed. Make him some tea and cruise the internet.
That's not like nagging a man to take out the garbage. That is SEX. Thats a meshing of bodies and energy and its ONLY good if both people are into eachother and genuinely consenting because they want to share that with eachother. It's supposed to be a deep and meaningful act.
And yes I'm speaking up for men with this. It's not right or okay for women to sexually harrass males. Yet some how it seems to be the left of center shitlib fake femnazis who feel ENTITLED to a mans body. His time. His attention and his body. This is such a deep and fundamental lack of respect.
And this whole time....I had believed they had made these plans togther and that he actually banged our "mutual friend" and I'd be lying if i said that didnt fucking sting. It DID.
And on top of this ghoulish incident, she couldnt keep it to herself so she takes to the forums to openly discuss sex with him and things about his life. And she didnt have consent for that either. So WTF was she trying to do? Humiliate him? Cut him down? Control him somehow? Why did she need the forums to know about this and to give explicit (and embellished) details?
Because Murdy never saw or respected Biggie as an autonomous individual with boundaries, needs, his own wants, his own concerns, his own morals and stances and opinions and feelings. His own ways he sees the world. And he is a brilliant person with a brilliant mind who has a lot to offer.
Murdy decided he was gonna be a project for her and he was her prop on the stage of the Murdy show, and she was gonna use those super empathy powers to fix and guide him. She so empathic that if shes pushing herself on a man who had made it crystal clear for years he isnt interested that way and he cannot even get and stay HARD .....she blames HIM and claims he is BROKEN.
HIS consent and his enthusiasm wasnt required for this wild ass fantasy she fed for so long that she had disconnected from reality.
I dont see how this person is capable of a truly loving, healthy and intimate relationship. She is a hot ass mess who doesnt see or respect other individuals for who they are. She is not in tune with their emotions or vibes and she doesnt care to be. I do not believe this is a person with the capacity to deeply love anyone but her own self.
Murdy only loves and cares about Murdy and other people are accessories or enhancers for her life. Shes got the worst main character syndrom I have ever seen on these boards. Only matched by Poofer.
Funny how the topic of Biggie was her favorite one and she had so much to say about it when she wasnt being challenged. She tried for a long ass time to get an emotional response from me because she KNEW how I felt for him. Everyone who knew us knew. Flea knew and she was mortified....absolutely mortified that Murdy would do this to a friend. And I swallowed this shit because him and I had been over and what was I gonna do? He can sleep with who he wants. Now I know he didnt really want to to begin with.
And shes finally getting the response from me now....and now that Biggie is finally speaking up for himself....she wants to reinvent herself and go ride off into the fecal CA sunset with Alfonso and pretend she thinks marriage is "sacred" and act like shes so above everyone else.
I really think most all of the appeal...the reason she wanted him so badly, is because another woman loved him. It wasnt about Biggie at all. It was always about her low self esteem and wanting what another woman has. The fact he had rejected her. The fact another woman wanted him made her want him more. And that's why she rubbed it in my face like she did. And that's why she posted shit about his life. She wanted me to believe they had became super close and that she knew all this stuff about him (thinking I didnt I guess)
In "getting" him (even via sexual assault)....she knew she could advantage of the fact he doesnt read most of her posts and take advantage of his CLASS in not kissing and telling....she would be able to "show off" this crap and peacock for ME. Like she felt like she beat me at something. It gave her an ego boost to feel she got a man who was deeply valuable to another woman.
And I'm SURE his income and his status was also part of it. All these people who claim that I was trying to gold dig Biggie are telling on themselves and how they think. Big could have been poor or working class and I would have still followed him to the moon if that's where he wanted to be. I would have made it work and got a job and he would be super impressed with my ability to stretch income without sacrificing quality. Just like I am normally anyway. I simply dont CARE about that shit. SHE does.
And had Biggie been poor or working class I somehow doubt she would have still wanted to rape him. Or obsessed with him for years and years.
Anywho that was my scroll bomb today.
