two truths and a lie

1) I totaled a car three days after I got my learner's permit.

2) I went streaking through my neighborhood on a bicycle.

3) I've never been on television.
 
Watch it.

Before you know it you will have Gay @Admin. and Homo @jack wanking together at the thought of it.

Says Prolapse, who is given to posting gay nudes of himself endlessly at BFF.

You have some fucked up sexuality going on Pro.

See Vitty.

He even reveals exactly what he imagines in his gay wanking sessions....

Next thing you know his dreams of you will be as real as his dreams of doing 50 pushups.
 
See Vitty.

He even reveals exactly what he imagines in his gay wanking sessions....

Next thing you know his dreams of you will be as real as his dreams of doing 50 pushups.

Dude... I'm getting ready to eat.

Do you mind?
How am I supposed to maintain an appetite with *that* thought barging around in my skull?
 
Ya got me... that was the lie.
I thought for a minute about your podcasts, but knew (hoped) you wouldn't split that hair.

The other two i could see you doing easily, and that's a compliment. When I was having my first drivers ed class in a car I was going around a curve and a bus was coming and I turned away in the opposite direction and hit the gas to the floor instead of the brake. These drivers ed cars had a gas pedal and brake on the instructors side as well.

All I remember is covering him with mud while the rear wheels were spinning full bore at the bottom of the ditch.

Poor instructor was literally STANDING on the brake pedal.

I was better after that. Did you get hurt when you totaled the car? What was that like?
 
Did you get hurt when you totaled the car? What was that like?

Knocked me out and I had a couple black eyes (pretty sure I smacked either the rear-view mirror or the steering wheel) but other than that I was okay.

On a highway the left front tire blew and I didn't know why the car was suddenly so hard to control; swerved once or twice and went off the road on the right which happened to be an embankment. Hit a tree in mid-air.

Last thing I remember is everything went green, obviously due to flying through the tree's branches.

Haven't been in a serious wreck since though, so here's to getting that shit over with early. Heh

My passenger, the guy with a license, wasn't quite so lucky.
He went out through the windshield and messed up one of his knees pretty good.
Still, could've been a lot worse there too.
 
Knocked me out and I had a couple black eyes (pretty sure I smacked either the rear-view mirror or the steering wheel) but other than that I was okay.

On a highway the left front tire blew and I didn't know why the car was suddenly so hard to control; swerved once or twice and went off the road on the right which happened to be an embankment. Hit a tree in mid-air.

Last thing I remember is everything went green, obviously due to flying through the tree's branches.

Haven't been in a serious wreck since though, so here's to getting that shit over with early. Heh

My passenger, the guy with a license, wasn't quite so lucky.
He went out through the windshield and messed up one of his knees pretty good.
Still, could've been a lot worse there too.
It'd be a bit strange if you had more than a couple of black eyes :LOL3:
Sorry, I'm super stoned.
 
It'd be a bit strange if you had more than a couple of black eyes :LOL3:
Sorry, I'm super stoned.

Great... now I have to mentally work through whether or not it's actually possible to blacken my third eye and what that would even look like. Having a peculiar turn of mind can be a real burden.

Darn you. Darn you to heck!
 
Great... now I have to mentally work through whether or not it's actually possible to blacken my third eye and what that would even look like. Having a peculiar turn of mind can be a real burden.

Darn you. Darn you to heck!
Thanks for that mental picture :LOL3:
That wasn't even where I was headed with it. I meant having more than two actual eyeballs. Hilarious turn of events!
 
1) I totaled a car three days after I got my learner's permit.
When I was having my first drivers ed class in a car I was going around a curve and a bus was coming and I turned away in the opposite direction and hit the gas to the floor instead of the brake.

You two officially should never drive a fast car like an Arctic White C8 Corvette with the Z51 Performance Package.
 
You two officially should never drive a fast car like an Arctic White C8 Corvette with the Z51 Performance Package.

Either because of my experience or in spite of it (I'll leave it to others to pick one) I became a damn good driver. I've driven fast machines (including police patrol vehicles on a driving course) and while it wasn't exactly a race car my '65 Pontiac Starchief had big ol' bawlz.

Ya can't base an evaluation of someone's driving prowess on shit that happened to them *as soon as* they started driving. I'm pretty sure you know that and just wanted an excuse to mention your albino 'Vette with the ZZTop Perforated Pickle or whatever.

Again.
 
I have a distinct memory of a 1967 Chevy Impala station wagon upside down and burning in a ditch, but there's no official record of such a thing as ever happening where I might have been involved.

Just sayin'
 
Either because of my experience or in spite of it (I'll leave it to others to pick one) I became a damn good driver. I've driven fast machines (including police patrol vehicles on a driving course) and while it wasn't exactly a race car my '65 Pontiac Starchief had big ol' bawlz.

Ya can't base an evaluation of someone's driving prowess on shit that happened to them *as soon as* they started driving. I'm pretty sure you know that and just wanted an excuse to mention your albino 'Vette with the ZZTop Perforated Pickle or whatever.

Again.

Oh, have I mentioned my C8 Corvette before...?
 
I was raised by hippies who only allowed us to watch PBS and would turn the tv off for months at a time.

I can trace my father’s lineage to 15th century England.

I eat meat with every meal.
 
I’m pretty sure you’ve only been married twice….

I have been married 3 times. I was married at 19 until I was 21. Then I was immediately married again at 22 until I was 24 and I divorced, left the church and left my state for about 5 years.

I married for the third time when I was 33. Divorced at 42. Or 43? Or some shit.
 
I have been married 3 times. I was married at 19 until I was 21. Then I was immediately married again at 22 until I was 24 and I divorced, left the church and left my state for about 5 years.

I married for the third time when I was 33. Divorced at 42. Or 43? Or some shit.

you married both the older girls dads?
 
I remember the stories and don’t blame you….

I live back in my hometown, in a subdivision less than a mile away from his parents. And V knows. She even knows the house.

She has absolutely zero interest in meeting them. Like NONE.

I used to think cutting them entirely would be a much bigger issue than its been. Now that shes an adult, we have had more real discussions about what happened there.

She isnt against meeting them. She just simply doesnt care lol. We have been here for 3 years and some months and she never even brings it up.

Shes just living life.

He has had other babies with more of his victims. Married some homely Christain woman and they are already on the outs(I know this because me and my man occasionally stalk them on socail media) lol

She posting things about narcissistic abuse and it doesnt take a rocket scientist to know why lol.

I always hope he will turn it around and get help. I hope.....from afar.