Going Clean

[Fantom]

Well, folx. It's time for KoF to go sober. I haven't had alcohol in a while, and today is my first day of being truly sober from weed. I had been tapering off of weed for a while, now it's time to drop it completely. For almost 3 years I have been high all day every day, with other drugs sprinkled in occasionally.

I would also like to no longer engage in criminal activity, especially being drunk in an automobile. I think I have spent at least 10x the amount of time being drunk in an automobile. than drinking... anywhere else.

I haven't done any other criminal activities like robbing or slinging drugs for quite some time now, either. So really the only thing I have to do is kick tobacco and stop drinking coffee so much. Coffee has been the only thing that stops me from drinking, I swear if it wasn't for coffee and tea I would still be chugging steel reserve until my bac hits 0.3.

A month or 2 ago i thought I was going to die because my BaC hit 0.4. I passed out in my bed, than woke up in the exact same spot and threw up everything in my stomach. There have been a few times where I am crossed on 3 or 4 drugs, and I feel my heart stop beating momentarily, then start again. Never Again.

 

[Lily]

Did drinking or being high that much make you feel good?

 

[Fantom]

Did drinking or being high that much make you feel good?

Yes, every single time. The only time I felt bad was after the high was gone, especially with drinking, even more so when I got hangovers.

 

[Lily]

Well, best of luck with sobriety.

 

[The Prowler]

Just quitting the drugs and drinking is not going to fix your underlying problems.

Until you do that, you will never find peace.

 

[Fantom]

Just quitting the drugs and drinking is not going to fix your underlying problems.

Until you do that, you will never find peace.

Yes, I know. i have some other things to work on, like my exercise, diet, and sleep. But this is another step in a voyage that will end when I die.

 

[The Prowler]

At times it will become overwhelming (all your weaknesses that need to be corrected).

In times when you struggle, just remember that there are people like me who find it all pretty fuckin' easy.

I do not know if that will help, but for some reason it makes me laugh.

 

[Dove]

Yes, I know. i have some other things to work on, like my exercise, diet, and sleep. But this is another step in a voyage that will end when I die.

No that's not what he meant.

You are gonna need a whole program, therapy, and probably a group like AA or Celebrate Recovery.

Doesn't seem like you are actively addicted to anything right now where you would need a detox? Because if you are hooked on something like heroin, alcohol or benzos(like Xanax) you are gonna need a medically supervised detox.

Recovery takes years.

 

[Darthinia Von Vader]

where you at? i'll buy ya the first few rounds. after that its all on you though for the both of us. fuck thinking.. just go out and drink man. i mean if you one to stay at home doing it all the power to ya. just dive right into the next bottle. just like the rest of us none of us survive in the end.. so what if it comes quicker? the end is the end no matter what age you die.

 

[Alticus]

You haven't had alcohol in a while. That's very good because it sounds like you have a problem with it. I can relate to alcoholism. I've been sober for 20+ years. Alcohol damn near killed me. Especially combining it with other drugs. If you are ever craving a drink please contact me and we will talk it out. You seem like a pretty decent person and I don't want to see you sick. If you get cirrhosis and your liver fails, you're as good as dead, and transplants are wicked hard to get.

I also see that you are making an effort to quit a few things. Just try not to put too much on your plate at once. In order to be successful in your endeavor, you will have to be patient, hell-bent and willing to suffer. I don't know how old you are but if you are young, like in your 20's, your youth will play a big role in your recovery. If you are like in your 40's or older, you don't recover as quickly.

As far as weed goes, when I was younger I smoked it every damn day and even sold some of my electronics to buy it. When the weed stopped getting me as high as I wanted I added painkillers to the mix. Now that I'm much older, I don't smoke all day like I used to. Mostly in the evenings, although I do enjoy the occasional wake and bake. Sharing your story with us takes guts and I respect that. It's all about how bad you want it. Stay determined and you will succeed.

 

[Moonpie]

At times it will become overwhelming (all your weaknesses that need to be corrected).

In times when you struggle, just remember that there are people like me who find it all pretty fuckin' easy.

I do not know if that will help, but for some reason it makes me laugh.

I hate you make me laugh at times but you do. But is this the time for that I ask myself...hmmm

 

[Fantom]

No that's not what he meant.

You are gonna need a whole program, therapy, and probably a group like AA or Celebrate Recovery.

Doesn't seem like you are actively addicted to anything right now where you would need a detox? Because if you are hooked on something like heroin, alcohol or benzos(like Xanax) you are gonna need a medically supervised detox.

Recovery takes years.

I'm in a program right now, I have three 3 hour meetings a week.

I just sit there and zone out the enitire time, it fucking sucks. There is no structure to the meetings and people just talk about whatever they want, so I sit there on my phone while they talk about sunday night football.

 

[Darthinia Von Vader]

than just invite them to a bar, have some drinks, and talk about football. don't make life complicated. it will never be complicated unless you let it be so.

 

[Lily]

I'm in a program right now, I have three 3 hour meetings a week.

I just sit there and zone out the enitire time, it fucking sucks. There is no structure to the meetings and people just talk about whatever they want, so I sit there on my phone while they talk about sunday night football.

That doesn't sound helpful. Is this voluntary? Perhaps you need to find a better fit.

 

[The Prowler]

 

[Fantom]

That doesn't sound helpful. Is this voluntary? Perhaps you need to find a better fit.

It is involuntary.
It is not helpful in the slightest.
If anything it pushed me to pick up smoking cigs again, I've bummed some cigs a couple times there, and then eventually had to start smoking again to not go through nicotine withdrawals. I threw out the rest of my cigs today, I figured I will just go through a few days of withdrawal and get it over with.

 

[The Prowler]

It is involuntary.

 

[Fantom]

For a few of them, some of the people there where mandated to attend it plus AA because of parole or probation, I confuse the two.

 

[The Prowler]

For a few of them, some of the people there where mandated to attend it plus AA because of parole or probation, I confuse the two.

 

[Fantom]

Yeah you're right, there are a few people there who are there because they want to be, but they are drowned out by the voices of those who are there unwillingly.

 

[The Prowler]

Yeah you're right, there are a few people there who are there because they want to be, but they are drowned out by the voices of those who are there unwillingly.