Will the Texas Abortion Laws lead to an Increase of Teen Suicides in that State?

[Murdy]

@Murdock ... American women enjoy dramatising everything.

we are 60% high fructose corn syrup estrogen psychos lol

You really are a spoilt and naive nation.

I’m a spoiled brat and proud of it

Each to there own. Now excuse me dear, I need to do my ritual sword practice, have a coffee and some avocado on toast, and go hunting for some surf. Xx

I’m my fathers only daughter… so it’s not my fault lol

Avocado on sourdough toast is my FAVE omg <3

I have one daughter and would love to spoil her, but alas, she can’t get over the fact that I left her with her two brothers and a cheating ex-wife. It was either I leave or beat the fuck out of the next ex-husband (#4) and regret my decision (for breaking him apart).

As an only daughter, do you think will she ever come around? At the moment I can’t deal with her constant negativity and feelings of abandonment. She’s a headstrong redhead with Scottish ancestry and a feminist hippie, which compounds issues. It’s one of the reasons why I practice arguing so much with LotusBottom...

Aaaaaaaaaagh...difficult daughters!

I would try to not argue with her because it sounds like her mother is manipulative.. I mean, seriously…. what woman with that many ex husbands isn’t?????

I would listen and listen and listen and not speak. Baby steps to getting her to drop the guard and come around.

Women who are liberal typically already feel treated unfairly by the world of men. Don’t compile it with more stern BS from a man… because she already doesn’t trust men. You need to rebuild that trust and you’re probably gonna deal with a lot of pent up anger and aggression before she takes that block wall of ice down that she has built around her heart.

Good luck!

 

[Dove]

Because some of them might see it as the only way out of their situations? And a lot of these girls come from troubled environments & broken homes.

Something tells me this law won't end well for many. Instead of saving lives it may end causing more deaths including the unborn child.

Anyways just a thought.

I disagree. I think it will lead to an increase in adoption. It’s a pregnancy, not the end of the world.

...like this?




...in the good old days they put unwanted children in orphanages as many countries were full of them.

I suppose the lucky ones got adopted

You realize a lot of that was more because the parents died? Either in child birth or from a disease that we now have vaccinations for? Or influenza?

They had brothels & whore houses back then too. And of course many married men in those days had secret mistresses & they went along with it because it was the only way for them to survive. Plus then as now, youths fooled around.

I think back in the day if the parents died the children moved in with relatives or grandparents took care of them.

I’m watching Harlots on Hulu right now and I’m BLOWN away. If you want a good periodical piece that shows how corrupt the patriarchy actually was… then this is the show!

Do you often base your political views on works of fiction?

huh? The story line includes birth control and undesired women being murdered by the social elite, Biggie dual

It is a work of fiction. Maybe don't seek "proof of the patriarchy" in works of fiction set in the 18th century. Modern data from the real world is a far better place to base your world views upon. You will reach far sounder conclusions.

Its propaganda. It's meant to give weak minded women this completely false view that men would like to enslave us as breeders. So it pits women against our young(our power is in our ability to give life and mold humanity).

Men want enslaved sex toys. They wanna bang women, they want to oogle and sexualize women, and now we are culturally convinced its "empowerment" and "liberation" to let men sexualize us, use us for sex and get "off the hook" with abortion.

We are expected to be "sexy and independent" so men can get off without having a single sense of responsibility to the humanity of women and our offspring at all.

And I guess they dont realize what the patriarch even IS and they think it's the GOOD men who WANT to be husband's and fathers and take care of their families.

The patriarchy is the simple fact the majority of world leaders are men, and men representing men. The male justices that decided Roe....that's a patriarchy.

Abortion and marketed sex will ALWAYS be in the best interest of men.

Why not put out some fictional bullshit giving the impression that its family and giving birth that is the enslaving factor so weak minded well trained women keep slaving away on every level to make a MAN wealthy and sexually entertained. All it does is help the establishment. Oh and crap on a divide creator so people dont view worshipping the almighty state as the death cult it is?

It's like 1984 reversed.

 

[Murdy]

Actually, the show is set in the social hierarchy of England when women were still considered chattle and there were secretly societies of men who corrupted judges and got away with everything… including rape and murder. Liv Tyler plays a rich socialite who gave birth to her brother’s baby conceived out of incestual rape, he has her committed and deemed hysterical and has complete power over her inheritance because she wasn’t worthy of marriage since she wasn’t a virgin.

They also show that poor women had little options outside of prostitution if they were not married. Plus the madams are into kidnapping and rape of virgins.

I’m absolutely enthralled.

 

[Oerdin]

Because some of them might see it as the only way out of their situations? And a lot of these girls come from troubled environments & broken homes.

Something tells me this law won't end well for many. Instead of saving lives it may end causing more deaths including the unborn child.

Anyways just a thought.

I disagree. I think it will lead to an increase in adoption. It’s a pregnancy, not the end of the world.

...like this?




...in the good old days they put unwanted children in orphanages as many countries were full of them.

I suppose the lucky ones got adopted

You realize a lot of that was more because the parents died? Either in child birth or from a disease that we now have vaccinations for? Or influenza?

They had brothels & whore houses back then too. And of course many married men in those days had secret mistresses & they went along with it because it was the only way for them to survive. Plus then as now, youths fooled around.

I think back in the day if the parents died the children moved in with relatives or grandparents took care of them.

I’m watching Harlots on Hulu right now and I’m BLOWN away. If you want a good periodical piece that shows how corrupt the patriarchy actually was… then this is the show!

Do you often base your political views on works of fiction?

huh? The story line includes birth control and undesired women being murdered by the social elite, Biggie dual

It is a work of fiction. Maybe don't seek "proof of the patriarchy" in works of fiction set in the 18th century. Modern data from the real world is a far better place to base your world views upon. You will reach far sounder conclusions.

you are free to watch it or not watch it… but making some asinine accusation that I’m “basing my political views” on a periodically correct show on Hulu is as absurd as most of your other posts… so…..

Well, I am glad you now recognize how foolish your previous claim was. You are at least smart enough to run away from your claim after it gets pointed out how laughable it was.

 

[Breakfall]

@Murdock ... American women enjoy dramatising everything.

we are 60% high fructose corn syrup estrogen psychos lol

You really are a spoilt and naive nation.

I’m a spoiled brat and proud of it

Each to there own. Now excuse me dear, I need to do my ritual sword practice, have a coffee and some avocado on toast, and go hunting for some surf. Xx

I’m my fathers only daughter… so it’s not my fault lol

Avocado on sourdough toast is my FAVE omg <3

I have one daughter and would love to spoil her, but alas, she can’t get over the fact that I left her with her two brothers and a cheating ex-wife. It was either I leave or beat the fuck out of the next ex-husband (#4) and regret my decision (for breaking him apart).

As an only daughter, do you think will she ever come around? At the moment I can’t deal with her constant negativity and feelings of abandonment. She’s a headstrong redhead with Scottish ancestry and a feminist hippie, which compounds issues. It’s one of the reasons why I practice arguing so much with LotusBottom...

Aaaaaaaaaagh...difficult daughters!

Yes she will come around. Get real with her. Dont give up letting her know you are there.

You are gonna get shit tested because once daddy rips your heart out.....its never fully healed.

:/

Well it’s not as if I ripped her heart out. I ended up moving interstate, partly for business reasons. The other reason was that I initially had given her mother permission to move further away (4hours) to a farm property to start a relationship with the 4th husband to be, but on the condition that she meet me halfway on the road when it came to access with my daughter...that stopped happening because they couldn’t be fucked driving the distance in the end. *This decision of theirs to move far away was initially due to the “abusive” nature of the 2nd husband before me, father of the two boys.

Now...fast-track 9 years down the line...my ex wife left the 4th husband for husband #5 and hit the road in a RV, leaving all three kids to fend for themselves, my daughter was doing her finals in high school (year 12).

See where the abandonment issues get compounded and served in dollops when I try to come to the rescue?

@Murdock ...your take too please.

 

[LotusBud]

Because some of them might see it as the only way out of their situations? And a lot of these girls come from troubled environments & broken homes.

Something tells me this law won't end well for many. Instead of saving lives it may end causing more deaths including the unborn child.

Anyways just a thought.

I disagree. I think it will lead to an increase in adoption. It’s a pregnancy, not the end of the world.

...like this?




...in the good old days they put unwanted children in orphanages as many countries were full of them.

I suppose the lucky ones got adopted

You realize a lot of that was more because the parents died? Either in child birth or from a disease that we now have vaccinations for? Or influenza?

They had brothels & whore houses back then too. And of course many married men in those days had secret mistresses & they went along with it because it was the only way for them to survive. Plus then as now, youths fooled around.

I think back in the day if the parents died the children moved in with relatives or grandparents took care of them.

I’m watching Harlots on Hulu right now and I’m BLOWN away. If you want a good periodical piece that shows how corrupt the patriarchy actually was… then this is the show!

I loved Harlots. Was bummed that it ended. Really well done.

 

[Dove]

@Murdock ... American women enjoy dramatising everything.

we are 60% high fructose corn syrup estrogen psychos lol

You really are a spoilt and naive nation.

I’m a spoiled brat and proud of it

Each to there own. Now excuse me dear, I need to do my ritual sword practice, have a coffee and some avocado on toast, and go hunting for some surf. Xx

I’m my fathers only daughter… so it’s not my fault lol

Avocado on sourdough toast is my FAVE omg <3

I have one daughter and would love to spoil her, but alas, she can’t get over the fact that I left her with her two brothers and a cheating ex-wife. It was either I leave or beat the fuck out of the next ex-husband (#4) and regret my decision (for breaking him apart).

As an only daughter, do you think will she ever come around? At the moment I can’t deal with her constant negativity and feelings of abandonment. She’s a headstrong redhead with Scottish ancestry and a feminist hippie, which compounds issues. It’s one of the reasons why I practice arguing so much with LotusBottom...

Aaaaaaaaaagh...difficult daughters!

Yes she will come around. Get real with her. Dont give up letting her know you are there.

You are gonna get shit tested because once daddy rips your heart out.....its never fully healed.

:/

Well it’s not as if I ripped her heart out. I ended up moving interstate, partly for business reasons. The other reason was that I initially had given her mother permission to move further away (4hours) to a farm property to start a relationship with the 4th husband to be, but on the condition that she meet me halfway on the road when it came to access with my daughter...that stopped happening because they couldn’t be fucked driving the distance in the end. *This decision of theirs to move far away was initially due to the “abusive” nature of the 2nd husband before me, father of the two boys.

Now...fast-track 9 years down the line...my ex wife left the 4th husband for husband #5 and hit the road in a RV, leaving all three kids to fend for themselves, my daughter was doing her finals in high school (year 12).

See where the abandonment issues get compounded and served in dollops when I try to come to the rescue?

@Murdock ...your take too please.

Trust me when dad moves far away it hurts. Abandonment issues are part of that. I have(had really, not so much anymore) abandonment issues because of BOTH my mother and father. I was mostly raised by my grandmother.

Really screwed up my ability to have healthy relationships with men. So I've been divorced a few times. I run hot and cold.

And because I've been divorced a few times, I have a daughter from each marriage. My oldest dad moved out of state, she goes to visit him every other Christmas and every summer....though shes 18 and her friends and her girlfriend are here, she doesnt stay at her dad's very long. Its become 3 to 4 weeks and shes home.

My second daughters father was abusive. We were married very fast (love bombing...I didnt know better) and he was very controling and mentally/emotionally abusive. He actually sabotaged my birth control and my second pregnancy was reproductive coercion. I guess he figured getting me pregnant would tie me to him. Everyone wanted me to abort. I absolutely did not and I made sure he would never be involved - and he hasnt been. He went on to have a series of other abusive relationships where he had more children. I do talk to one of the "other mothers".

When she was younger and asked about her dad, I simply told her he was very ill in his feelings and he had to go to a special feelings doctor and maybe later when he is better, she would be able to see him and then follow it up with how special she is. It never bothered her much. Now that shes older, shes more aware of the truth....and understands he isnt being bashed. She knows she has the option of contacting him....but she doesnt have much interest. My husband has been "dad" to her for the past 10 years...she's pretty satisfied with him and my in laws being her family. She gets curious but that's it.

I get all of that. My daughters definately had struggles they wouldnt have had if I had been stable enough to provide them a two parent home from birth. Emotionally damaged people will always end up in a cycle with other emotionally damage people and then that damages the kids caught in it. That damage and those abandonment issues come from us....the parents. Whether we intended to hurt them or not.

And on top of you moving, sounds like your daughters mother relationship hopped(serial monogamy).....likely because one of her parents wasnt present. Abandonment and codependency always ends up a dysfunctional family tradition where people just pass down an inability to truly trust or properly bond to a romantic partner. And pick abusive people.

I know people hate to hear that because it's a bitter pill but it's the truth. If our kids have emotional issues(leaving aside a serious mental health issue like bipolar or schizophrenia) it's our fault as the parents. I'm not saying we are monsters or should be shamed and flogged in the public square. Human being are inherently flawed and none of us like saying or hearing it. We all do OUR best, and that looks different for everyone.

But as long as you keep making yourself available and you are consistent and dont do shit out of guilt(like enabling an unhealthy habit), it will definately foster a stronger relationship with your daughter and that's what you want. You just love her.

I had so many issues with my dad, but that's how he was for me. He didnt push, he consistently had my back, and he earned my trust and respect. He couldn't help that he wasnt there for me growing up, he had serious mental health issues and he was getting the help he needed. So he didnt intentionally hurt me.....but the absence of a parent is deeply painful regardless of the circumstances.

Being a parent is hard. It's made harder if you have a divorce/single parent dynamic. I hope you can pick a sentence or 2 out of my blather you find helpful :D

 

[Breakfall]

@Murdock ... American women enjoy dramatising everything.

we are 60% high fructose corn syrup estrogen psychos lol

You really are a spoilt and naive nation.

I’m a spoiled brat and proud of it

Each to there own. Now excuse me dear, I need to do my ritual sword practice, have a coffee and some avocado on toast, and go hunting for some surf. Xx

I’m my fathers only daughter… so it’s not my fault lol

Avocado on sourdough toast is my FAVE omg <3

I have one daughter and would love to spoil her, but alas, she can’t get over the fact that I left her with her two brothers and a cheating ex-wife. It was either I leave or beat the fuck out of the next ex-husband (#4) and regret my decision (for breaking him apart).

As an only daughter, do you think will she ever come around? At the moment I can’t deal with her constant negativity and feelings of abandonment. She’s a headstrong redhead with Scottish ancestry and a feminist hippie, which compounds issues. It’s one of the reasons why I practice arguing so much with LotusBottom...

Aaaaaaaaaagh...difficult daughters!

Yes she will come around. Get real with her. Dont give up letting her know you are there.

You are gonna get shit tested because once daddy rips your heart out.....its never fully healed.

:/

Well it’s not as if I ripped her heart out. I ended up moving interstate, partly for business reasons. The other reason was that I initially had given her mother permission to move further away (4hours) to a farm property to start a relationship with the 4th husband to be, but on the condition that she meet me halfway on the road when it came to access with my daughter...that stopped happening because they couldn’t be fucked driving the distance in the end. *This decision of theirs to move far away was initially due to the “abusive” nature of the 2nd husband before me, father of the two boys.

Now...fast-track 9 years down the line...my ex wife left the 4th husband for husband #5 and hit the road in a RV, leaving all three kids to fend for themselves, my daughter was doing her finals in high school (year 12).

See where the abandonment issues get compounded and served in dollops when I try to come to the rescue?

@Murdock ...your take too please.

Trust me when dad moves far away it hurts. Abandonment issues are part of that. I have(had really, not so much anymore) abandonment issues because of BOTH my mother and father. I was mostly raised by my grandmother.

Really screwed up my ability to have healthy relationships with men. So I've been divorced a few times. I run hot and cold.

And because I've been divorced a few times, I have a daughter from each marriage. My oldest dad moved out of state, she goes to visit him every other Christmas and every summer....though shes 18 and her friends and her girlfriend are here, she doesnt stay at her dad's very long. Its become 3 to 4 weeks and shes home.

My second daughters father was abusive. We were married very fast (love bombing...I didnt know better) and he was very controling and mentally/emotionally abusive. He actually sabotaged my birth control and my second pregnancy was reproductive coercion. I guess he figured getting me pregnant would tie me to him. Everyone wanted me to abort. I absolutely did not and I made sure he would never be involved - and he hasnt been. He went on to have a series of other abusive relationships where he had more children. I do talk to one of the "other mothers".

When she was younger and asked about her dad, I simply told her he was very ill in his feelings and he had to go to a special feelings doctor and maybe later when he is better, she would be able to see him and then follow it up with how special she is. It never bothered her much. Now that shes older, shes more aware of the truth....and understands he isnt being bashed. She knows she has the option of contacting him....but she doesnt have much interest. My husband has been "dad" to her for the past 10 years...she's pretty satisfied with him and my in laws being her family. She gets curious but that's it.

I get all of that. My daughters definately had struggles they wouldnt have had if I had been stable enough to provide them a two parent home from birth. Emotionally damaged people will always end up in a cycle with other emotionally damage people and then that damages the kids caught in it. That damage and those abandonment issues come from us....the parents. Whether we intended to hurt them or not.

And on top of you moving, sounds like your daughters mother relationship hopped(serial monogamy).....likely because one of her parents wasnt present. Abandonment and codependency always ends up a dysfunctional family tradition where people just pass down an inability to truly trust or properly bond to a romantic partner. And pick abusive people.

I know people hate to hear that because it's a bitter pill but it's the truth. If our kids have emotional issues(leaving aside a serious mental health issue like bipolar or schizophrenia) it's our fault as the parents. I'm not saying we are monsters or should be shamed and flogged in the public square. Human being are inherently flawed and none of us like saying or hearing it. We all do OUR best, and that looks different for everyone.

But as long as you keep making yourself available and you are consistent and dont do shit out of guilt(like enabling an unhealthy habit), it will definately foster a stronger relationship with your daughter and that's what you want. You just love her.

I had so many issues with my dad, but that's how he was for me. He didnt push, he consistently had my back, and he earned my trust and respect. He couldn't help that he wasnt there for me growing up, he had serious mental health issues and he was getting the help he needed. So he didnt intentionally hurt me.....but the absence of a parent is deeply painful regardless of the circumstances.

Being a parent is hard. It's made harder if you have a divorce/single parent dynamic. I hope you can pick a sentence or 2 out of my blather you find helpful :D

Life is very black and white for me. The gray areas kinda bleed into one or the other depending on the particular situation, if that makes any sense.

My idea was that, I would pick up the pieces and give her wealth and help her through university. But she’s stubborn and wants to do it all on her own. I flew her over a few times, remodelled a room for her, offered her a car, offered to pay her tuition...but all my efforts were to no avail. It’s like my reaching out was too little too late...

Now she’s on prescription pills and sees a shrink!

All this because, I removed myself from a situation that I couldn’t change at the time. Had I known that her mother would end up on such a disruptive and destructive path, I would’ve fought for full custody at the time.

 

[Dove]

@Murdock ... American women enjoy dramatising everything.

we are 60% high fructose corn syrup estrogen psychos lol

You really are a spoilt and naive nation.

I’m a spoiled brat and proud of it

Each to there own. Now excuse me dear, I need to do my ritual sword practice, have a coffee and some avocado on toast, and go hunting for some surf. Xx

I’m my fathers only daughter… so it’s not my fault lol

Avocado on sourdough toast is my FAVE omg <3

I have one daughter and would love to spoil her, but alas, she can’t get over the fact that I left her with her two brothers and a cheating ex-wife. It was either I leave or beat the fuck out of the next ex-husband (#4) and regret my decision (for breaking him apart).

As an only daughter, do you think will she ever come around? At the moment I can’t deal with her constant negativity and feelings of abandonment. She’s a headstrong redhead with Scottish ancestry and a feminist hippie, which compounds issues. It’s one of the reasons why I practice arguing so much with LotusBottom...

Aaaaaaaaaagh...difficult daughters!

Yes she will come around. Get real with her. Dont give up letting her know you are there.

You are gonna get shit tested because once daddy rips your heart out.....its never fully healed.

:/

Well it’s not as if I ripped her heart out. I ended up moving interstate, partly for business reasons. The other reason was that I initially had given her mother permission to move further away (4hours) to a farm property to start a relationship with the 4th husband to be, but on the condition that she meet me halfway on the road when it came to access with my daughter...that stopped happening because they couldn’t be fucked driving the distance in the end. *This decision of theirs to move far away was initially due to the “abusive” nature of the 2nd husband before me, father of the two boys.

Now...fast-track 9 years down the line...my ex wife left the 4th husband for husband #5 and hit the road in a RV, leaving all three kids to fend for themselves, my daughter was doing her finals in high school (year 12).

See where the abandonment issues get compounded and served in dollops when I try to come to the rescue?

@Murdock ...your take too please.

Trust me when dad moves far away it hurts. Abandonment issues are part of that. I have(had really, not so much anymore) abandonment issues because of BOTH my mother and father. I was mostly raised by my grandmother.

Really screwed up my ability to have healthy relationships with men. So I've been divorced a few times. I run hot and cold.

And because I've been divorced a few times, I have a daughter from each marriage. My oldest dad moved out of state, she goes to visit him every other Christmas and every summer....though shes 18 and her friends and her girlfriend are here, she doesnt stay at her dad's very long. Its become 3 to 4 weeks and shes home.

My second daughters father was abusive. We were married very fast (love bombing...I didnt know better) and he was very controling and mentally/emotionally abusive. He actually sabotaged my birth control and my second pregnancy was reproductive coercion. I guess he figured getting me pregnant would tie me to him. Everyone wanted me to abort. I absolutely did not and I made sure he would never be involved - and he hasnt been. He went on to have a series of other abusive relationships where he had more children. I do talk to one of the "other mothers".

When she was younger and asked about her dad, I simply told her he was very ill in his feelings and he had to go to a special feelings doctor and maybe later when he is better, she would be able to see him and then follow it up with how special she is. It never bothered her much. Now that shes older, shes more aware of the truth....and understands he isnt being bashed. She knows she has the option of contacting him....but she doesnt have much interest. My husband has been "dad" to her for the past 10 years...she's pretty satisfied with him and my in laws being her family. She gets curious but that's it.

I get all of that. My daughters definately had struggles they wouldnt have had if I had been stable enough to provide them a two parent home from birth. Emotionally damaged people will always end up in a cycle with other emotionally damage people and then that damages the kids caught in it. That damage and those abandonment issues come from us....the parents. Whether we intended to hurt them or not.

And on top of you moving, sounds like your daughters mother relationship hopped(serial monogamy).....likely because one of her parents wasnt present. Abandonment and codependency always ends up a dysfunctional family tradition where people just pass down an inability to truly trust or properly bond to a romantic partner. And pick abusive people.

I know people hate to hear that because it's a bitter pill but it's the truth. If our kids have emotional issues(leaving aside a serious mental health issue like bipolar or schizophrenia) it's our fault as the parents. I'm not saying we are monsters or should be shamed and flogged in the public square. Human being are inherently flawed and none of us like saying or hearing it. We all do OUR best, and that looks different for everyone.

But as long as you keep making yourself available and you are consistent and dont do shit out of guilt(like enabling an unhealthy habit), it will definately foster a stronger relationship with your daughter and that's what you want. You just love her.

I had so many issues with my dad, but that's how he was for me. He didnt push, he consistently had my back, and he earned my trust and respect. He couldn't help that he wasnt there for me growing up, he had serious mental health issues and he was getting the help he needed. So he didnt intentionally hurt me.....but the absence of a parent is deeply painful regardless of the circumstances.

Being a parent is hard. It's made harder if you have a divorce/single parent dynamic. I hope you can pick a sentence or 2 out of my blather you find helpful :D

Life is very black and white for me. The gray areas kinda bleed into one or the other depending on the particular situation, if that makes any sense.

My idea was that, I would pick up the pieces and give her wealth and help her through university. But she’s stubborn and wants to do it all on her own. I flew her over a few times, remodelled a room for her, offered her a car, offered to pay her tuition...but all my efforts were to no avail. It’s like my reaching out was too little too late...

Now she’s on prescription pills and sees a shrink!

All this because, I removed myself from a situation that I couldn’t change at the time. Had I known that her mother would end up on such a disruptive and destructive path, I would’ve fought for full custody at the time.

Sounds like me.

She wants you to be proud of her.

We would all do things differently if we only knew, yanno? Lol.

 

[Breakfall]

@Murdock ... American women enjoy dramatising everything.

we are 60% high fructose corn syrup estrogen psychos lol

You really are a spoilt and naive nation.

I’m a spoiled brat and proud of it

Each to there own. Now excuse me dear, I need to do my ritual sword practice, have a coffee and some avocado on toast, and go hunting for some surf. Xx

I’m my fathers only daughter… so it’s not my fault lol

Avocado on sourdough toast is my FAVE omg <3

I have one daughter and would love to spoil her, but alas, she can’t get over the fact that I left her with her two brothers and a cheating ex-wife. It was either I leave or beat the fuck out of the next ex-husband (#4) and regret my decision (for breaking him apart).

As an only daughter, do you think will she ever come around? At the moment I can’t deal with her constant negativity and feelings of abandonment. She’s a headstrong redhead with Scottish ancestry and a feminist hippie, which compounds issues. It’s one of the reasons why I practice arguing so much with LotusBottom...

Aaaaaaaaaagh...difficult daughters!

Yes she will come around. Get real with her. Dont give up letting her know you are there.

You are gonna get shit tested because once daddy rips your heart out.....its never fully healed.

:/

Well it’s not as if I ripped her heart out. I ended up moving interstate, partly for business reasons. The other reason was that I initially had given her mother permission to move further away (4hours) to a farm property to start a relationship with the 4th husband to be, but on the condition that she meet me halfway on the road when it came to access with my daughter...that stopped happening because they couldn’t be fucked driving the distance in the end. *This decision of theirs to move far away was initially due to the “abusive” nature of the 2nd husband before me, father of the two boys.

Now...fast-track 9 years down the line...my ex wife left the 4th husband for husband #5 and hit the road in a RV, leaving all three kids to fend for themselves, my daughter was doing her finals in high school (year 12).

See where the abandonment issues get compounded and served in dollops when I try to come to the rescue?

@Murdock ...your take too please.

Trust me when dad moves far away it hurts. Abandonment issues are part of that. I have(had really, not so much anymore) abandonment issues because of BOTH my mother and father. I was mostly raised by my grandmother.

Really screwed up my ability to have healthy relationships with men. So I've been divorced a few times. I run hot and cold.

And because I've been divorced a few times, I have a daughter from each marriage. My oldest dad moved out of state, she goes to visit him every other Christmas and every summer....though shes 18 and her friends and her girlfriend are here, she doesnt stay at her dad's very long. Its become 3 to 4 weeks and shes home.

My second daughters father was abusive. We were married very fast (love bombing...I didnt know better) and he was very controling and mentally/emotionally abusive. He actually sabotaged my birth control and my second pregnancy was reproductive coercion. I guess he figured getting me pregnant would tie me to him. Everyone wanted me to abort. I absolutely did not and I made sure he would never be involved - and he hasnt been. He went on to have a series of other abusive relationships where he had more children. I do talk to one of the "other mothers".

When she was younger and asked about her dad, I simply told her he was very ill in his feelings and he had to go to a special feelings doctor and maybe later when he is better, she would be able to see him and then follow it up with how special she is. It never bothered her much. Now that shes older, shes more aware of the truth....and understands he isnt being bashed. She knows she has the option of contacting him....but she doesnt have much interest. My husband has been "dad" to her for the past 10 years...she's pretty satisfied with him and my in laws being her family. She gets curious but that's it.

I get all of that. My daughters definately had struggles they wouldnt have had if I had been stable enough to provide them a two parent home from birth. Emotionally damaged people will always end up in a cycle with other emotionally damage people and then that damages the kids caught in it. That damage and those abandonment issues come from us....the parents. Whether we intended to hurt them or not.

And on top of you moving, sounds like your daughters mother relationship hopped(serial monogamy).....likely because one of her parents wasnt present. Abandonment and codependency always ends up a dysfunctional family tradition where people just pass down an inability to truly trust or properly bond to a romantic partner. And pick abusive people.

I know people hate to hear that because it's a bitter pill but it's the truth. If our kids have emotional issues(leaving aside a serious mental health issue like bipolar or schizophrenia) it's our fault as the parents. I'm not saying we are monsters or should be shamed and flogged in the public square. Human being are inherently flawed and none of us like saying or hearing it. We all do OUR best, and that looks different for everyone.

But as long as you keep making yourself available and you are consistent and dont do shit out of guilt(like enabling an unhealthy habit), it will definately foster a stronger relationship with your daughter and that's what you want. You just love her.

I had so many issues with my dad, but that's how he was for me. He didnt push, he consistently had my back, and he earned my trust and respect. He couldn't help that he wasnt there for me growing up, he had serious mental health issues and he was getting the help he needed. So he didnt intentionally hurt me.....but the absence of a parent is deeply painful regardless of the circumstances.

Being a parent is hard. It's made harder if you have a divorce/single parent dynamic. I hope you can pick a sentence or 2 out of my blather you find helpful :D

Life is very black and white for me. The gray areas kinda bleed into one or the other depending on the particular situation, if that makes any sense.

My idea was that, I would pick up the pieces and give her wealth and help her through university. But she’s stubborn and wants to do it all on her own. I flew her over a few times, remodelled a room for her, offered her a car, offered to pay her tuition...but all my efforts were to no avail. It’s like my reaching out was too little too late...

Now she’s on prescription pills and sees a shrink!

All this because, I removed myself from a situation that I couldn’t change at the time. Had I known that her mother would end up on such a disruptive and destructive path, I would’ve fought for full custody at the time.

Sounds like me.

She wants you to be proud of her.

We would all do things differently if we only knew, yanno? Lol.

I am proud of her. I’ve only wanted good things for her. I truly hoped that her family would raise a harmonious family back then with the 4th. All well...time will tell.

 

[Murdy]

@Murdock ... American women enjoy dramatising everything.

we are 60% high fructose corn syrup estrogen psychos lol

You really are a spoilt and naive nation.

I’m a spoiled brat and proud of it

Each to there own. Now excuse me dear, I need to do my ritual sword practice, have a coffee and some avocado on toast, and go hunting for some surf. Xx

I’m my fathers only daughter… so it’s not my fault lol

Avocado on sourdough toast is my FAVE omg <3

I have one daughter and would love to spoil her, but alas, she can’t get over the fact that I left her with her two brothers and a cheating ex-wife. It was either I leave or beat the fuck out of the next ex-husband (#4) and regret my decision (for breaking him apart).

As an only daughter, do you think will she ever come around? At the moment I can’t deal with her constant negativity and feelings of abandonment. She’s a headstrong redhead with Scottish ancestry and a feminist hippie, which compounds issues. It’s one of the reasons why I practice arguing so much with LotusBottom...

Aaaaaaaaaagh...difficult daughters!

Yes she will come around. Get real with her. Dont give up letting her know you are there.

You are gonna get shit tested because once daddy rips your heart out.....its never fully healed.

:/

Well it’s not as if I ripped her heart out. I ended up moving interstate, partly for business reasons. The other reason was that I initially had given her mother permission to move further away (4hours) to a farm property to start a relationship with the 4th husband to be, but on the condition that she meet me halfway on the road when it came to access with my daughter...that stopped happening because they couldn’t be fucked driving the distance in the end. *This decision of theirs to move far away was initially due to the “abusive” nature of the 2nd husband before me, father of the two boys.

Now...fast-track 9 years down the line...my ex wife left the 4th husband for husband #5 and hit the road in a RV, leaving all three kids to fend for themselves, my daughter was doing her finals in high school (year 12).

See where the abandonment issues get compounded and served in dollops when I try to come to the rescue?

@Murdock ...your take too please.

Trust me when dad moves far away it hurts. Abandonment issues are part of that. I have(had really, not so much anymore) abandonment issues because of BOTH my mother and father. I was mostly raised by my grandmother.

Really screwed up my ability to have healthy relationships with men. So I've been divorced a few times. I run hot and cold.

And because I've been divorced a few times, I have a daughter from each marriage. My oldest dad moved out of state, she goes to visit him every other Christmas and every summer....though shes 18 and her friends and her girlfriend are here, she doesnt stay at her dad's very long. Its become 3 to 4 weeks and shes home.

My second daughters father was abusive. We were married very fast (love bombing...I didnt know better) and he was very controling and mentally/emotionally abusive. He actually sabotaged my birth control and my second pregnancy was reproductive coercion. I guess he figured getting me pregnant would tie me to him. Everyone wanted me to abort. I absolutely did not and I made sure he would never be involved - and he hasnt been. He went on to have a series of other abusive relationships where he had more children. I do talk to one of the "other mothers".

When she was younger and asked about her dad, I simply told her he was very ill in his feelings and he had to go to a special feelings doctor and maybe later when he is better, she would be able to see him and then follow it up with how special she is. It never bothered her much. Now that shes older, shes more aware of the truth....and understands he isnt being bashed. She knows she has the option of contacting him....but she doesnt have much interest. My husband has been "dad" to her for the past 10 years...she's pretty satisfied with him and my in laws being her family. She gets curious but that's it.

I get all of that. My daughters definately had struggles they wouldnt have had if I had been stable enough to provide them a two parent home from birth. Emotionally damaged people will always end up in a cycle with other emotionally damage people and then that damages the kids caught in it. That damage and those abandonment issues come from us....the parents. Whether we intended to hurt them or not.

And on top of you moving, sounds like your daughters mother relationship hopped(serial monogamy).....likely because one of her parents wasnt present. Abandonment and codependency always ends up a dysfunctional family tradition where people just pass down an inability to truly trust or properly bond to a romantic partner. And pick abusive people.

I know people hate to hear that because it's a bitter pill but it's the truth. If our kids have emotional issues(leaving aside a serious mental health issue like bipolar or schizophrenia) it's our fault as the parents. I'm not saying we are monsters or should be shamed and flogged in the public square. Human being are inherently flawed and none of us like saying or hearing it. We all do OUR best, and that looks different for everyone.

But as long as you keep making yourself available and you are consistent and dont do shit out of guilt(like enabling an unhealthy habit), it will definately foster a stronger relationship with your daughter and that's what you want. You just love her.

I had so many issues with my dad, but that's how he was for me. He didnt push, he consistently had my back, and he earned my trust and respect. He couldn't help that he wasnt there for me growing up, he had serious mental health issues and he was getting the help he needed. So he didnt intentionally hurt me.....but the absence of a parent is deeply painful regardless of the circumstances.

Being a parent is hard. It's made harder if you have a divorce/single parent dynamic. I hope you can pick a sentence or 2 out of my blather you find helpful :D

Life is very black and white for me. The gray areas kinda bleed into one or the other depending on the particular situation, if that makes any sense.

My idea was that, I would pick up the pieces and give her wealth and help her through university. But she’s stubborn and wants to do it all on her own. I flew her over a few times, remodelled a room for her, offered her a car, offered to pay her tuition...but all my efforts were to no avail. It’s like my reaching out was too little too late...

Now she’s on prescription pills and sees a shrink!

All this because, I removed myself from a situation that I couldn’t change at the time. Had I known that her mother would end up on such a disruptive and destructive path, I would’ve fought for full custody at the time.

Sounds like me.

She wants you to be proud of her.

We would all do things differently if we only knew, yanno? Lol.

I am proud of her. I’ve only wanted good things for her. I truly hoped that her family would raise a harmonious family back then with the 4th. All well...time will tell.

the problem is that she sees you escaped and she was trapped… why didn’t you take her with you?

how will you explain that? perhaps a thought to ponder before you try to dive deep into the abyss to save her.

 

[Breakfall]

@Murdock ... American women enjoy dramatising everything.

we are 60% high fructose corn syrup estrogen psychos lol

You really are a spoilt and naive nation.

I’m a spoiled brat and proud of it

Each to there own. Now excuse me dear, I need to do my ritual sword practice, have a coffee and some avocado on toast, and go hunting for some surf. Xx

I’m my fathers only daughter… so it’s not my fault lol

Avocado on sourdough toast is my FAVE omg <3

I have one daughter and would love to spoil her, but alas, she can’t get over the fact that I left her with her two brothers and a cheating ex-wife. It was either I leave or beat the fuck out of the next ex-husband (#4) and regret my decision (for breaking him apart).

As an only daughter, do you think will she ever come around? At the moment I can’t deal with her constant negativity and feelings of abandonment. She’s a headstrong redhead with Scottish ancestry and a feminist hippie, which compounds issues. It’s one of the reasons why I practice arguing so much with LotusBottom...

Aaaaaaaaaagh...difficult daughters!

Yes she will come around. Get real with her. Dont give up letting her know you are there.

You are gonna get shit tested because once daddy rips your heart out.....its never fully healed.

:/

Well it’s not as if I ripped her heart out. I ended up moving interstate, partly for business reasons. The other reason was that I initially had given her mother permission to move further away (4hours) to a farm property to start a relationship with the 4th husband to be, but on the condition that she meet me halfway on the road when it came to access with my daughter...that stopped happening because they couldn’t be fucked driving the distance in the end. *This decision of theirs to move far away was initially due to the “abusive” nature of the 2nd husband before me, father of the two boys.

Now...fast-track 9 years down the line...my ex wife left the 4th husband for husband #5 and hit the road in a RV, leaving all three kids to fend for themselves, my daughter was doing her finals in high school (year 12).

See where the abandonment issues get compounded and served in dollops when I try to come to the rescue?

@Murdock ...your take too please.

Trust me when dad moves far away it hurts. Abandonment issues are part of that. I have(had really, not so much anymore) abandonment issues because of BOTH my mother and father. I was mostly raised by my grandmother.

Really screwed up my ability to have healthy relationships with men. So I've been divorced a few times. I run hot and cold.

And because I've been divorced a few times, I have a daughter from each marriage. My oldest dad moved out of state, she goes to visit him every other Christmas and every summer....though shes 18 and her friends and her girlfriend are here, she doesnt stay at her dad's very long. Its become 3 to 4 weeks and shes home.

My second daughters father was abusive. We were married very fast (love bombing...I didnt know better) and he was very controling and mentally/emotionally abusive. He actually sabotaged my birth control and my second pregnancy was reproductive coercion. I guess he figured getting me pregnant would tie me to him. Everyone wanted me to abort. I absolutely did not and I made sure he would never be involved - and he hasnt been. He went on to have a series of other abusive relationships where he had more children. I do talk to one of the "other mothers".

When she was younger and asked about her dad, I simply told her he was very ill in his feelings and he had to go to a special feelings doctor and maybe later when he is better, she would be able to see him and then follow it up with how special she is. It never bothered her much. Now that shes older, shes more aware of the truth....and understands he isnt being bashed. She knows she has the option of contacting him....but she doesnt have much interest. My husband has been "dad" to her for the past 10 years...she's pretty satisfied with him and my in laws being her family. She gets curious but that's it.

I get all of that. My daughters definately had struggles they wouldnt have had if I had been stable enough to provide them a two parent home from birth. Emotionally damaged people will always end up in a cycle with other emotionally damage people and then that damages the kids caught in it. That damage and those abandonment issues come from us....the parents. Whether we intended to hurt them or not.

And on top of you moving, sounds like your daughters mother relationship hopped(serial monogamy).....likely because one of her parents wasnt present. Abandonment and codependency always ends up a dysfunctional family tradition where people just pass down an inability to truly trust or properly bond to a romantic partner. And pick abusive people.

I know people hate to hear that because it's a bitter pill but it's the truth. If our kids have emotional issues(leaving aside a serious mental health issue like bipolar or schizophrenia) it's our fault as the parents. I'm not saying we are monsters or should be shamed and flogged in the public square. Human being are inherently flawed and none of us like saying or hearing it. We all do OUR best, and that looks different for everyone.

But as long as you keep making yourself available and you are consistent and dont do shit out of guilt(like enabling an unhealthy habit), it will definately foster a stronger relationship with your daughter and that's what you want. You just love her.

I had so many issues with my dad, but that's how he was for me. He didnt push, he consistently had my back, and he earned my trust and respect. He couldn't help that he wasnt there for me growing up, he had serious mental health issues and he was getting the help he needed. So he didnt intentionally hurt me.....but the absence of a parent is deeply painful regardless of the circumstances.

Being a parent is hard. It's made harder if you have a divorce/single parent dynamic. I hope you can pick a sentence or 2 out of my blather you find helpful :D

Life is very black and white for me. The gray areas kinda bleed into one or the other depending on the particular situation, if that makes any sense.

My idea was that, I would pick up the pieces and give her wealth and help her through university. But she’s stubborn and wants to do it all on her own. I flew her over a few times, remodelled a room for her, offered her a car, offered to pay her tuition...but all my efforts were to no avail. It’s like my reaching out was too little too late...

Now she’s on prescription pills and sees a shrink!

All this because, I removed myself from a situation that I couldn’t change at the time. Had I known that her mother would end up on such a disruptive and destructive path, I would’ve fought for full custody at the time.

Sounds like me.

She wants you to be proud of her.

We would all do things differently if we only knew, yanno? Lol.

I am proud of her. I’ve only wanted good things for her. I truly hoped that her family would raise a harmonious family back then with the 4th. All well...time will tell.

the problem is that she sees you escaped and she was trapped… why didn’t you take her with you?

how will you explain that? perhaps a thought to ponder before you try to dive deep into the abyss to save her.

I told her that I thought that she’d be safe with her two older brothers and that I truly wished for this new family to work out for all concerned. Some real family unity.

It turned out that her mother and stepfather, moved her brothers and herself from the main house into the barn, so that they could take drugs and party on without feeling a sense of guilt.

Can you believe that revelation??

 

[Dove]

@Murdock ... American women enjoy dramatising everything.

we are 60% high fructose corn syrup estrogen psychos lol

You really are a spoilt and naive nation.

I’m a spoiled brat and proud of it

Each to there own. Now excuse me dear, I need to do my ritual sword practice, have a coffee and some avocado on toast, and go hunting for some surf. Xx

I’m my fathers only daughter… so it’s not my fault lol

Avocado on sourdough toast is my FAVE omg <3

I have one daughter and would love to spoil her, but alas, she can’t get over the fact that I left her with her two brothers and a cheating ex-wife. It was either I leave or beat the fuck out of the next ex-husband (#4) and regret my decision (for breaking him apart).

As an only daughter, do you think will she ever come around? At the moment I can’t deal with her constant negativity and feelings of abandonment. She’s a headstrong redhead with Scottish ancestry and a feminist hippie, which compounds issues. It’s one of the reasons why I practice arguing so much with LotusBottom...

Aaaaaaaaaagh...difficult daughters!

Yes she will come around. Get real with her. Dont give up letting her know you are there.

You are gonna get shit tested because once daddy rips your heart out.....its never fully healed.

:/

Well it’s not as if I ripped her heart out. I ended up moving interstate, partly for business reasons. The other reason was that I initially had given her mother permission to move further away (4hours) to a farm property to start a relationship with the 4th husband to be, but on the condition that she meet me halfway on the road when it came to access with my daughter...that stopped happening because they couldn’t be fucked driving the distance in the end. *This decision of theirs to move far away was initially due to the “abusive” nature of the 2nd husband before me, father of the two boys.

Now...fast-track 9 years down the line...my ex wife left the 4th husband for husband #5 and hit the road in a RV, leaving all three kids to fend for themselves, my daughter was doing her finals in high school (year 12).

See where the abandonment issues get compounded and served in dollops when I try to come to the rescue?

@Murdock ...your take too please.

Trust me when dad moves far away it hurts. Abandonment issues are part of that. I have(had really, not so much anymore) abandonment issues because of BOTH my mother and father. I was mostly raised by my grandmother.

Really screwed up my ability to have healthy relationships with men. So I've been divorced a few times. I run hot and cold.

And because I've been divorced a few times, I have a daughter from each marriage. My oldest dad moved out of state, she goes to visit him every other Christmas and every summer....though shes 18 and her friends and her girlfriend are here, she doesnt stay at her dad's very long. Its become 3 to 4 weeks and shes home.

My second daughters father was abusive. We were married very fast (love bombing...I didnt know better) and he was very controling and mentally/emotionally abusive. He actually sabotaged my birth control and my second pregnancy was reproductive coercion. I guess he figured getting me pregnant would tie me to him. Everyone wanted me to abort. I absolutely did not and I made sure he would never be involved - and he hasnt been. He went on to have a series of other abusive relationships where he had more children. I do talk to one of the "other mothers".

When she was younger and asked about her dad, I simply told her he was very ill in his feelings and he had to go to a special feelings doctor and maybe later when he is better, she would be able to see him and then follow it up with how special she is. It never bothered her much. Now that shes older, shes more aware of the truth....and understands he isnt being bashed. She knows she has the option of contacting him....but she doesnt have much interest. My husband has been "dad" to her for the past 10 years...she's pretty satisfied with him and my in laws being her family. She gets curious but that's it.

I get all of that. My daughters definately had struggles they wouldnt have had if I had been stable enough to provide them a two parent home from birth. Emotionally damaged people will always end up in a cycle with other emotionally damage people and then that damages the kids caught in it. That damage and those abandonment issues come from us....the parents. Whether we intended to hurt them or not.

And on top of you moving, sounds like your daughters mother relationship hopped(serial monogamy).....likely because one of her parents wasnt present. Abandonment and codependency always ends up a dysfunctional family tradition where people just pass down an inability to truly trust or properly bond to a romantic partner. And pick abusive people.

I know people hate to hear that because it's a bitter pill but it's the truth. If our kids have emotional issues(leaving aside a serious mental health issue like bipolar or schizophrenia) it's our fault as the parents. I'm not saying we are monsters or should be shamed and flogged in the public square. Human being are inherently flawed and none of us like saying or hearing it. We all do OUR best, and that looks different for everyone.

But as long as you keep making yourself available and you are consistent and dont do shit out of guilt(like enabling an unhealthy habit), it will definately foster a stronger relationship with your daughter and that's what you want. You just love her.

I had so many issues with my dad, but that's how he was for me. He didnt push, he consistently had my back, and he earned my trust and respect. He couldn't help that he wasnt there for me growing up, he had serious mental health issues and he was getting the help he needed. So he didnt intentionally hurt me.....but the absence of a parent is deeply painful regardless of the circumstances.

Being a parent is hard. It's made harder if you have a divorce/single parent dynamic. I hope you can pick a sentence or 2 out of my blather you find helpful :D

Life is very black and white for me. The gray areas kinda bleed into one or the other depending on the particular situation, if that makes any sense.

My idea was that, I would pick up the pieces and give her wealth and help her through university. But she’s stubborn and wants to do it all on her own. I flew her over a few times, remodelled a room for her, offered her a car, offered to pay her tuition...but all my efforts were to no avail. It’s like my reaching out was too little too late...

Now she’s on prescription pills and sees a shrink!

All this because, I removed myself from a situation that I couldn’t change at the time. Had I known that her mother would end up on such a disruptive and destructive path, I would’ve fought for full custody at the time.

Sounds like me.

She wants you to be proud of her.

We would all do things differently if we only knew, yanno? Lol.

I am proud of her. I’ve only wanted good things for her. I truly hoped that her family would raise a harmonious family back then with the 4th. All well...time will tell.

the problem is that she sees you escaped and she was trapped… why didn’t you take her with you?

how will you explain that? perhaps a thought to ponder before you try to dive deep into the abyss to save her.

I told her that I thought that she’d be safe with her two older brothers and that I truly wished for this new family to work out for all concerned. Some real family unity.

It turned out that her mother and stepfather, moved her brothers and herself from the main house into the barn, so that they could take drugs and party on without feeling a sense of guilt.

Can you believe that revelation??

Are you fucking serious? That would enrage me.

 

[Breakfall]

@Murdock ... American women enjoy dramatising everything.

we are 60% high fructose corn syrup estrogen psychos lol

You really are a spoilt and naive nation.

I’m a spoiled brat and proud of it

Each to there own. Now excuse me dear, I need to do my ritual sword practice, have a coffee and some avocado on toast, and go hunting for some surf. Xx

I’m my fathers only daughter… so it’s not my fault lol

Avocado on sourdough toast is my FAVE omg <3

I have one daughter and would love to spoil her, but alas, she can’t get over the fact that I left her with her two brothers and a cheating ex-wife. It was either I leave or beat the fuck out of the next ex-husband (#4) and regret my decision (for breaking him apart).

As an only daughter, do you think will she ever come around? At the moment I can’t deal with her constant negativity and feelings of abandonment. She’s a headstrong redhead with Scottish ancestry and a feminist hippie, which compounds issues. It’s one of the reasons why I practice arguing so much with LotusBottom...

Aaaaaaaaaagh...difficult daughters!

Yes she will come around. Get real with her. Dont give up letting her know you are there.

You are gonna get shit tested because once daddy rips your heart out.....its never fully healed.

:/

Well it’s not as if I ripped her heart out. I ended up moving interstate, partly for business reasons. The other reason was that I initially had given her mother permission to move further away (4hours) to a farm property to start a relationship with the 4th husband to be, but on the condition that she meet me halfway on the road when it came to access with my daughter...that stopped happening because they couldn’t be fucked driving the distance in the end. *This decision of theirs to move far away was initially due to the “abusive” nature of the 2nd husband before me, father of the two boys.

Now...fast-track 9 years down the line...my ex wife left the 4th husband for husband #5 and hit the road in a RV, leaving all three kids to fend for themselves, my daughter was doing her finals in high school (year 12).

See where the abandonment issues get compounded and served in dollops when I try to come to the rescue?

@Murdock ...your take too please.

Trust me when dad moves far away it hurts. Abandonment issues are part of that. I have(had really, not so much anymore) abandonment issues because of BOTH my mother and father. I was mostly raised by my grandmother.

Really screwed up my ability to have healthy relationships with men. So I've been divorced a few times. I run hot and cold.

And because I've been divorced a few times, I have a daughter from each marriage. My oldest dad moved out of state, she goes to visit him every other Christmas and every summer....though shes 18 and her friends and her girlfriend are here, she doesnt stay at her dad's very long. Its become 3 to 4 weeks and shes home.

My second daughters father was abusive. We were married very fast (love bombing...I didnt know better) and he was very controling and mentally/emotionally abusive. He actually sabotaged my birth control and my second pregnancy was reproductive coercion. I guess he figured getting me pregnant would tie me to him. Everyone wanted me to abort. I absolutely did not and I made sure he would never be involved - and he hasnt been. He went on to have a series of other abusive relationships where he had more children. I do talk to one of the "other mothers".

When she was younger and asked about her dad, I simply told her he was very ill in his feelings and he had to go to a special feelings doctor and maybe later when he is better, she would be able to see him and then follow it up with how special she is. It never bothered her much. Now that shes older, shes more aware of the truth....and understands he isnt being bashed. She knows she has the option of contacting him....but she doesnt have much interest. My husband has been "dad" to her for the past 10 years...she's pretty satisfied with him and my in laws being her family. She gets curious but that's it.

I get all of that. My daughters definately had struggles they wouldnt have had if I had been stable enough to provide them a two parent home from birth. Emotionally damaged people will always end up in a cycle with other emotionally damage people and then that damages the kids caught in it. That damage and those abandonment issues come from us....the parents. Whether we intended to hurt them or not.

And on top of you moving, sounds like your daughters mother relationship hopped(serial monogamy).....likely because one of her parents wasnt present. Abandonment and codependency always ends up a dysfunctional family tradition where people just pass down an inability to truly trust or properly bond to a romantic partner. And pick abusive people.

I know people hate to hear that because it's a bitter pill but it's the truth. If our kids have emotional issues(leaving aside a serious mental health issue like bipolar or schizophrenia) it's our fault as the parents. I'm not saying we are monsters or should be shamed and flogged in the public square. Human being are inherently flawed and none of us like saying or hearing it. We all do OUR best, and that looks different for everyone.

But as long as you keep making yourself available and you are consistent and dont do shit out of guilt(like enabling an unhealthy habit), it will definately foster a stronger relationship with your daughter and that's what you want. You just love her.

I had so many issues with my dad, but that's how he was for me. He didnt push, he consistently had my back, and he earned my trust and respect. He couldn't help that he wasnt there for me growing up, he had serious mental health issues and he was getting the help he needed. So he didnt intentionally hurt me.....but the absence of a parent is deeply painful regardless of the circumstances.

Being a parent is hard. It's made harder if you have a divorce/single parent dynamic. I hope you can pick a sentence or 2 out of my blather you find helpful :D

Life is very black and white for me. The gray areas kinda bleed into one or the other depending on the particular situation, if that makes any sense.

My idea was that, I would pick up the pieces and give her wealth and help her through university. But she’s stubborn and wants to do it all on her own. I flew her over a few times, remodelled a room for her, offered her a car, offered to pay her tuition...but all my efforts were to no avail. It’s like my reaching out was too little too late...

Now she’s on prescription pills and sees a shrink!

All this because, I removed myself from a situation that I couldn’t change at the time. Had I known that her mother would end up on such a disruptive and destructive path, I would’ve fought for full custody at the time.

Sounds like me.

She wants you to be proud of her.

We would all do things differently if we only knew, yanno? Lol.

I am proud of her. I’ve only wanted good things for her. I truly hoped that her family would raise a harmonious family back then with the 4th. All well...time will tell.

the problem is that she sees you escaped and she was trapped… why didn’t you take her with you?

how will you explain that? perhaps a thought to ponder before you try to dive deep into the abyss to save her.

I told her that I thought that she’d be safe with her two older brothers and that I truly wished for this new family to work out for all concerned. Some real family unity.

It turned out that her mother and stepfather, moved her brothers and herself from the main house into the barn, so that they could take drugs and party on without feeling a sense of guilt.

Can you believe that revelation??

Are you fucking serious? That would enrage me.

Well I only found that out recently. Trying to get information out of my daughter is like trying to get blood out of a stone. Had I known what was going on, I would’ve gone legal. This ex wife of mine has hurt many people around her. I saw warning signs right at the beginning and threatened to leave her before my daughter was even born. It was then that she asked for me to give her a second change because her 2nd husband was abusive and blaaah, blaaaah, blah. At the time I told her that I couldn’t see change as her true colours were already revealed to me, but I was willing for the sake of my two stepsons. She was actually great for just over a month, just enough time for her to flush the birth contraception from her system and fall pregnant. I thought that a child of mine would be the right thing to unite this family, but I was mistaken.